tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-49047114559209658332024-02-06T19:06:21.912-08:00The World (as seen Through a Looking Glass)"Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end: then stop"Craiggorshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14071667685055656973noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904711455920965833.post-89319537616832699812012-03-16T12:03:00.000-07:002012-03-16T12:03:08.395-07:00Let's Get One Thing Straight, I'm Not<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"The pressures on gay teens can be overwhelming--to keep secrets, tell lies, deny who you are, and try to be who you're not. Remember: you are special and worth being cared about, loved, and accepted just as you are. Never, ever let anyone convince you otherwise" ~Alex Sanchez</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #181818; line-height: 18px;">“If no one had ever challenged religious authority, there’d be no democracy, no public schools, women’s rights, improvements to science and medicine, evolution of slavery and no laws against child abuse or spousal abuse. I was afraid to challenge my religious beliefs because that was the basis of creation—mine anyway. I was afraid to question the Bible or anything in it, and when I did, that’s when I became involved with PFLAG and realized that my son was a perfectly normal human being and there was nothing for God to heal because Bobby was perfect just the way he was.”</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #181818; line-height: 18px;"> ~Mary Griffith </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #181818;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #181818; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #181818; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">“I'm a supporter of gay rights. And not a closet supporter either. From the time I was a kid, I have never been able to understand attacks upon the gay community. There are so many qualities that make up a human being... by the time I get through with all the things that I really admire about people, what they do with their private parts is probably so low on the list that it is irrelevant.” ~Paul Newman</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #181818; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #181818; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #330000; line-height: normal;">"The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision" ~Lynn Lavner</span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #181818; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #330000; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #330000;">"Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law" ~Boethius,<i>The Consolation of Philosophy</i>, A.D. 524</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #181818; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #330000; line-height: normal;"><br /></span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #330000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #330000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work: 'Hello. Can't work today, still queer.'" ~Robin Tyler</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #330000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #330000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"No government has the right to tell its citizens when or whom to love. The only queer people are those who don't love anybody." ~Rita Mae Brown</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #330000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #330000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"There's this illusion that homosexuals have sex and heterosexuals fall in love. That's completely untrue. Everybody wants to be loved." ~Boy George</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #330000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #330000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"I get sick of listening to straight people complain about, 'Well, hey, we don't have a heterosexual-pride day, why do you need a gay-pride day?' I remember when I was a kid I'd always ask my mom: 'Why don't we have a Kid's Day? We have a Mother's Day and a Father's Day, but why don't we have a Kid's Day?' My mom would always say, 'Every day is Kid's Day.' To all those heterosexuals that bitch about gay pride, I say the same thing: Every day is heterosexual-pride day! Can't you people enjoy your banquet and not piss on those of us enjoying our crumbs over here in the corner?" ~Rob Nash</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #330000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #330000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise." ~Johann von Goethe</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #330000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #330000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth." ~Benjamin Disraeli</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #330000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #330000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #330000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #330000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"It's a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy." ~Lucille Ball</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #330000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #330000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"To know what you prefer, instead of humbly saying 'Amen' to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to keep your soul alive." ~Robert Louis Stevenson</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #330000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #330000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"It always seemed to me a bit pointless to disapprove of homosexuality. It's like disapproving of rain. " ~Francis Maude</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #330000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #330000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"Everybody's journey is individual. If you fall in love with a boy, you fall in love with a boy. The fact that many Americans consider it a disease says more about them than it does about homosexuality." ~James Baldwin</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #330000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #330000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"The plague of mankind is the fear and rejection of diversity: monotheism, monarchy, monogamy and, in our age, monomedicine. The belief that there is only one right way to live, only one right way to regulate religious, political, sexual, medical affairs is the root cause of the greatest threat to man: members of his own species, bent on ensuring his salvation, security, and sanity." ~Thomas Szasz</span></span>Craiggorshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14071667685055656973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904711455920965833.post-30413292522931826692011-12-30T11:32:00.000-08:002011-12-30T11:32:18.160-08:00New Year's Correspondence<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Dear 2011,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">As I'm sitting here, waiting for the clock to tick down the last 34-ish hours of your life, I'm really only wondering two things: 1) What the hell, man? and 2) How well do you know 2012?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You're a fickle beast 2011, and you were entirely unpredictable for all the time that I knew you, so I'll give you props for keeping me on my toes. I know everyone sees a different side to you, but I think I saw you for what you really were: indecisive.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I think that you got a bad impression of me before we even met, and I'll attribute that to 2010. We ended on a pretty rocky note last Christmas what with the break-up with my ex-boyfreind and all. Tis the season to be brokenhearted and unwilling to get out of bed, indeed. You must have gotten all the details about that, because when you rolled around, everything just got worse.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">January was a dark, dank, depressing. And I use depressing in the literal sense. Because, as you know, this was when I started getting pulled down that slippery slope into full-blown major depressive disorder. Ouchies. But at least by the end of the month you sent the ex away to study abroad again, albeit he left behind a suitcase of lies. But he found replacements while he was away.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I really wish you had taken the time to have gotten to know me in February, because then maybe, just maybe, we could have avoided the whole indoor graffiti incident. Oh, I'm sorry, incidents. Gotta love that plurality. Needless to say, that was a real kick in the nads. And stomach. And head. And heart. But if that wasn't enough, you took my friends. My closest friends up at school. Okay, I'll concede, you didn't really do anything personally to them. Probably because you were focusing all your angst on me, and then they decided they couldn't be around me. You've clearly never been lonely. And I'm talking truly, deep down, in the pit of your very existence, lonely. Because you would never wish that on someone if you had a decent bone in your body.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Little did I know, however, that you were just getting started. Because March was a doozy. The lies unraveled, the depression got worse, the therapist didn't know what the hell to do with me, and my nightmares increased to two-per-night. Assuming I even managed to sleep. A lot of times I couldn't because I would spend my evenings running down the bathroom so that I could stress vomit somewhere other than my garbage can. Eventually I didn't want to do that though, because I started getting paranoid that I was being watched. I mean, clearly this person knew where I lived right? And they had gone to great lengths (twice) to frighten me there. Can you blame me for the fear? Maybe. But can you blame the depression and the loneliness and the ensuing feelings of self-pity and self-hate that resulted thereof? Maybe not. Of course, with a concoction like that, all you can really brew is suicidal thoughts. I know, I know, completely illogical way to respond to everything, right? I had a lot of love and support going my way, but the funny thing with depression is, all that stuff gets blocked out when your mind gets taken over by something other than your own consciousness. You can't hear the cheers, just the jeers. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Were you proud when I decided to take those pills? When I downed, I don't know, what was it? Eight, nine, ten of them? Or was that you? The strange, separate voice in my head that told me to stop? Well, who knows. But I did. Threw them all up and decided there was another way out. Which I then took immediately. Bye bye school! I'll catch ya later.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You know what, I'm being selfish. Maybe things were going on with you that I just wasn't aware of. Depression can do that to you. Make you think that you're the only person with problems. The only one struggling to get by. And I know that's not true. I generally like to think of myself as a good person. Selfless when I can be. So I'm sorry if you were going through some things too and I couldn't be there for you. Believe me, I wanted to. But you have to understand, I couldn't. Physically couldn't.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Maybe you took pity, or maybe you were working things out for yourself, but you allowed April to get a little bit better. Though not a lot, I have to be honest. The days I spent wishing I could stop crying, and the nights I agonized over whether or not I should sleep for fear of the dreams, were pretty numerous. And you didn't let up on the loneliness. But the reinforcements were coming, and all-in-all I had started to see that I made the right choice amidst all the crap the month before.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And then May, when I think that I finally won you over, at least for a time. Perhaps you're just more agreeable in the sun and springtime. Who isn't? Was I still depressed? Absolutely. Was I finding reasons to keep going? Here and there. My friends certainly helped. Oh, no, not the ones from up at school. No, see, they were done with me. But my other friends had stepped up in their absence. I'm sorry, look at me digressing like this. Where was I? Oh right, June.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Could June have been a better start to my recovery? I think not. So applause to you, my friend, and eternal thanks. I got to experience my first ever surprise party (though I deduced the surprise beforehand), tanned it up in the Bahamas, and then left North America spitting in sea foam as I sailed towards the Mediterranean. And that's when you really pampered me. Not a drop of rain for the next 66 days. Just a summer of tapas in Barcelona, gelato in Naples, poetry in Rome, kissing in Croatia, Bulgarian beaches, Turkish baths, and camel rides through the Moroccan desert. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I will always be infinitely grateful for every last second of those sixty-six days, on and off ship, as well as the incredible people I met, the time I spent with them, and all of the places we saw together. I know that I am lucky to have experienced such an adventure, and I'll never forget my own fortune in that respect, but I do like to think that I deserved it all. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So then bam! It's back to school in September. A decision that surprised many, including myself. But I was on a high. It seemed that Mount Vesuvius, hungover kayaking trips, and sexy ship boys had alleviated my depression for the time being. What a relief. So I marched back up north, as you know, and tried to make it all work. But, alas, other than my enjoyable 21st birthday weekend, not much worked. Not only was I getting anywhere in my major, but I realized that hey, there ISN'T anywhere to go in this major. It's a waste of time. Which I seemed to a lot of my friends now that my ex and I were studying on the same campus. Be glad, 2011, that no one can ever use you as a stand-in friend. It's not a good feeling.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Neither is being told that, for the third time, someone has gone out of their way to make sure you know exactly what they think of you. I get it, I get it, you're not O.K. with the whole gay thing. But you'll have to take it up with my DNA. Because that's me, and I have <i>nothing</i> to apologize for.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Well, I had clearly pissed you off again, because everything started falling apart once more. He wanted me gone, no one seemed to want me around, and all of the support (though appreciated, this I swear) was too little, too late. Bye bye again!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Of course, this time being home wasn't as awful. Oh, don't get me wrong, it was still pretty shitty. The nightmares, which had never really let up, even in the summer, came screaming back. With a vengeance. And I felt that cold sting of loneliness again. Old news huh? Yeah I guess you're right. But it's hard when you have to admit that the world you loved and the place you called home ended up failing. Were my expectations too high? Was I in the wrong place to begin with? Had I done something to anger you again? Did I have too much fun on my voyage? Was that it? Was I too happy? Gotta be careful about that happiness. It'll bite ya in the end.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It's a good thing November rolled around, because that helped prevent the depression from taking over as strongly as it did when we first met. I think you know, as I was pretty vocal about it, but if you forgot, I wrote a novel. I completed 50,000+ words in 29 days, the most I've ever written in that amount of time. And you know what? It really helped. If only to keep me busy. But that's how you fight depression, or at least that's one way. Stay busy. And visit family. They're good medicine. Especially mine. Because even if they live in Stupid Ohio, they know exactly what to do and where to go to make you think that you're living it up in LA. So that's what I learned: stay busy and put yourself around family. Oh, and start therapy. Managed to do that by Thanksgiving too. And didn't that take forever? I'd like to think you weren't involved in that, but maybe you were still harboring some sort of grudge.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If you were, I didn't notice. Because I kept writing through December. Which made it a MUCH better time than when 2010 was around. I ended up with a 97,000 word novel on my hands, ready and waiting for the rewrite/editing process and eventual publication. Yeah I didn't end up with a holiday job, and yes, I was too late to make admission for a new school in the spring term, but I don't think I wasted my time. I think there was no better way I could have spent the end of our time together actually.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You did let up for the holidays, though, and I tip my new fedora to you for that. Christmas was exponentially more enjoyable than it was last year.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And now our time together has come to an end. And I have to know, have you left me any indication of what things will be like with 2012? You were so back and forth with me I have no idea what to expect next. Is 2012 as prickly as you are? Laidback? A firecracker? A fan of surprises? Or pretty predictable? Hopefully not too stressed out, though there is that whole end of the world thing he has on his shoulders. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I guess these are all pointless questions to ask. There's no reason you should know anything at all about 2012, or exert any influence, is there? You're over. Finished. Done with. Sure, you'll go out with a bang, but everyone always does. It's nothing all that special anymore. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And I've just got to say, though I thank for those amazing, sunny months in the middle, you can take all the crap and the disappointment and the heartache that bookended that time and get the hell out of here. I am not sad to see you go. Or better yet, let me turn my back on you and ride off to greener pastures. And I'll leave you to finish whatever it is you need to in these final hours. Don't expect a visit. I'll just be taking my experiences, a few good memories, and the lessons that I learned and be on my way. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I have a date with 2012. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Sincerely,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br /></i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Me</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br /></i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br /></i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br /></i></span>Craiggorshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14071667685055656973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904711455920965833.post-28422170254715823112011-10-14T13:24:00.000-07:002011-10-14T13:24:37.945-07:00Burned Anew<div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;">Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy"--Aristotle</span></span></i></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I kept it all in for months. You see, I was afraid it would come across as hate. But it's not hate. I don't hate, and I feel none towards the following. It's simply anger. To prevent it from becoming hate, however, it had to be said. And it had to be said here. And now.</span><br />
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">~</span></b><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Anger </b><i style="font-weight: bold;">noun. </i>1. A strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence <b>aroused by a wrong </b>2. Pain 3. grief; trouble</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Anger, </b>one of the five stages of grief, along with denial, bargaining, <b>depression</b>, and <b>acceptance</b>.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Forgive, </b><i style="font-weight: bold;">verb. </i>1. To cease to feel resentment against 2. To pardon an offense or an offender</span><br />
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</style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">How dare you? The place I once called home, that I loved so much. How dare you? How dare you tolerate this kind of behavior? How dare you tolerate it three times? How dare you make promises and promise answers and answer nothing? How dare you take my pain and twist it into a community campaign? How dare you? How dare you disregard my privacy and MY SUFFERING for your marches and vigils and rallies? How dare you try to martyr me in the offices of your pretentious buildings? How dare you cover up your inadequacy with new departments and special positions and redrawn policies? And you do all this and yet you found nothing. You punished no one. YOU STOPPED LOOKING. How dare you? How dare you make insinuations? How dare you overstep your Goddamn fucking boundaries and treat us like children? How dare you play couples counseling? How dare you say any of this was for my benefit?</span><!--EndFragment--> </span><br />
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</style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--><span style="font-size: 12pt;">How dare you? How dare you help me wash the paint off and then brush me away? How dare you leave me when I needed you most? How dare you tell me the pain was too much for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">you</i>? How dare you tell me I was better off alone? How dare you tell me that you do not understand, and how dare you not try? How dare you? You who were my closest friends. How dare you apologize too little and too late? How dare you stand there as if I were in the wrong? How dare you ever treat anyone the way you treated me? How dare you turn your back on someone in pain?</span><!--EndFragment--> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span><br />
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</style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--><span style="font-size: 12pt;">How dare you? How dare you ignore me, reject me, avoid me, hurt me and have the nerve to call me "pissy" when all I ever did was reach you to you? How dare you? How dare you use me as a stand-in until your circle of friends was complete once again? How dare you throw me out like I never was there at all? How dare you look me in the eye and promise to be there and be everywhere but? How dare you say nothing, say nothing but “leave” when I expressed the gut-wrenching pain that was consuming me? How dare you? How dare you call yourself my friend?</span><!--EndFragment--> </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></span><br />
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</style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--><span style="font-size: 12pt;">How dare you? How dare you come into my life? How dare you take my hand and tell me everything was all right? How dare you bring us together knowing full well we had an expiration date? How dare you take my heart to Europe and drown it in the ocean? How dare you send me that letter? How dare you tell me those three words? How dare you take them back? How dare you? How dare make promises you never intended to keep? How dare you lie by calling me friend? How dare you? How dare you act as if you never knew me? How dare you treat me like that in public? You who won’t even read this, you who I extended every apology, friendly gesture, and peace offering to no avail, you who behave like a child, you, who knowing how much pain you have caused me, knowing to the deepest extent, never once said YOU WERE FUCKING SORRY. How dare you? How dare you ever say that you cared for me?</span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></span></span><br />
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</style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 16px;">How dare you? How dare you presume anything about my life? How dare you publically humiliate me in my private space? How dare you bring to light my deepest shame? How dare you soil the place where I lived and turn sanctuary into prison? How dare you make me fear for my safety in my home? How dare you call me that? How dare you hurt me without knowing me? How dare you say those things in writing but not to my face? You coward. You self-righteous, ignorant, disgusting coward. How dare you walk around that campus after you destroyed everything it meant to me? How dare you make the effort to express your hatred for me THREE TIMES? How dare you sleep at night knowing what you’ve done?</span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span><!--EndFragment--> </span></span></span></span><br />
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</span></span></span></span></span><br />
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</style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--><span style="font-size: 12pt;">How dare you? You who looks back from the mirror. How dare you call yourself brave? How dare you not stay and fight? How dare you give them the satisfaction? How dare you believe that you made the right choice?</span><!--EndFragment--> </span></span></span></span></span><br />
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</style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--><span style="font-size: 12pt;">And You. Where were You? Where <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">are</i> You? You who are supposed to walk by my side, carry me through hardship, and show your light in the dark. Where were You? When I cried in the night, and screamed in my pillow and my eyes turned up as the blood ran down, where were You? Awake, a living nightmare and asleep, dreams laced with horror, and I fell and lost and was defeated. And I used tears and blood to whisper “Please.” And You said nothing. You did nothing. Where were You?</span><!--EndFragment--> </span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">~</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Thank you. To the place I once called home. Thank you for the time I spent, the people I met, and the things I did. Thank you for all of the lessons learned. Thank you for the opportunities, the experiences, the activities, the insight. Thank you for showing support, misguided or otherwise. Thank you for reacting and responding. Thank you for changing. Thank you for attempting to be my home. And thank you for helping me realize we weren't meant for one another. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Thank you. To the one who apologized. To the one who said "I'm sorry" and let me say it back. Thank you for the memories, the gifts, the smiles, and the laughs. Thank you for letting me heal, and thank you for being there in the end. Thank you for putting friendship above pride.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Thank you. To the one showed me how to be cautious. Thank you for showing me who my true friends in this world are. Thank you for reminding me that I am far too forgiving. And trusting. Thank you for all that you did while I was in pain, and thank you for not doing anything recently. Thank you for stepping out of my life, so that I wouldn't have to push you.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Thank you. To the one who hurt me more than anyone. Thank you for teaching me to guard my heart. Thank you for teaching me that love is cruel. Thank you for showing me that my worst fear was a rational one. Thank you for letting me see that I can live without you, and that I want to.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Thank you. To the coward. Thank your for helping me realize that I am stronger than you will ever be. Thank you giving me a chance to start over in a place untainted by your presence. Thank you for fueling me to overcome all the hurt you know that you caused. Thank you for helping me grow enough to know that in walking away, I make the choice to live and not suffer your ugly actions anymore.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Thank you. To the self. Thank you for not giving up. Thank you for pushing yourself every day. Thank you for getting out of bed. Thank you for reminding yourself that you are loved, and for looking at that red binder whenever you need it. Thank you for actively seeking help. Thank you for taking a life-changing journey. And thank you for stepping away before the progress you made was torn down by hate.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And thank You. For the clear voice that said Stop and prevented The Worst Night from becoming The Last Night. Thank You for helping me forgive and love all of the above. But not to forget.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean"--Maya Angelou</span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>Craiggorshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14071667685055656973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904711455920965833.post-37729424243014351672011-08-19T10:20:00.000-07:002011-08-19T10:20:06.057-07:00The Journey Home<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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</style> <![endif]--> <div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">“I heard and I forgot. I saw and I remembered. I did and I understood”—Confucius </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">A change of clothes sits on my bed next to a half-opened backpack and three large duffle bags. The wall is barren, all of the post-it notes my friends and I wrote to each other all summer long are collected in my journal. The room is quiet.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Yesterday, before our rather sophisticated Alumni Ball, the administration held a seminar to speak with us about Re-Entry into the United States and a phenomenon most of us have been dreading: reverse culture shock. The ship psychologists were on hand to provide us with a number of different strategies on coping with the effects of returning to the United States after 65 days abroad. They stressed that, despite what people at home might like to believe (and perhaps what some of us onboard still believe) we are not the same people we left as in June. The sticky part of the situation is that the problems, relationships, issues, and responsibilities of home still are the same, and we will be returning to these things as completely different individuals, with new perspectives on how to handle our problems and a different way in which we want to live our lives—the kind of things we want to do, the people we wish to surround ourselves with. We were warned about encountering frustration at being unable to convey just what this summer has done for our lives, and bewilderment and confusion at the American way of life for awhile. Eventually, we began to understand that re-entry is going to be an incredibly difficult process. Physically, we have no choice. Emotionally, we are willing the ship to turn around and head back to the Mediterranean. Mentally, we are forcing ourselves to realize that we have become stronger, transformed people, imbued with confidence to take on the issues we left behind, and yet we are also forcing ourselves to realize that our lives at home are soon to be tested by our newfound understanding of the world. And the results are uncertain.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">The return across the Atlantic has been one of intense self-reflection. Many questions have been asked, with few answers provided. “How will I convey to my friends the impact this summer has had on my view of the world?” “Will my loved ones appreciate the lessons I have learned?” “How do I explain this? How will I ever describe that?” and so on. How do I tell you all that the people I have met this summer are not my friends? For, through travel, they have become my family. How will I ever accomplish this?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">I do not know if I can. I do not know if I will. I do not know if it is possible. But I do that I have gained a new perspective with which to look at the problems I face. I do know that seeing the world is a priceless experience, and I will continue to travel for as long as I am able. I do know that I have learned more than I ever could have hoped to over the past two months. I know that the voyage ends, but the journey continues.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">And so, I will leave you with the following piece of writing, a piece that I have been working on all summer for my Travel Writing class, and I shall let you take from it what you will. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">~</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Depression is like quicksand. The more that you struggle, the farther down you sink. To survive, remain calm. Then you can reach out for help.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Assuming anyone is there to take your hand. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">First day. New room. Covered with mirrors. At the desk. On the wall. Above the sink. They make the room look larger than it is.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">When opportunity knocks, you have to answer the door. Otherwise, the pounding will drive you insane. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I left school on the last day of March, intent on making a new life for myself. A life without loneliness, fear, harassment, anger, depression, hurt, abandonment, jealousy, and broken hearts. If such a life exists.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">This ship is full of doors. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Behind, crying myself to sleep. Heavy breathing. Asking for help. Ahead, a night under the stars. Inhaling Vesuvian air. Enunciating “Hvala.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Sometimes a liberal arts school isn’t as liberal as you thought.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I can see the writing on the wood. It was bright red. Almost neon. There were six, long, fat letters and they ruined everything. Well, not everything. Most things.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">My parents and sister carried my bags for me, as far as they could. I got a hug from my dad, a kiss from my mom, and a high-five from my sister. Then they waved goodbye as I stepped through a door.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">A promise that I won’t be the same person in two months. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">A fear that I will.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Five gay suicides. Students jumping off bridges. Students who sank in the quicksand. Thirteen year old Seth Walsh. Thirteen year old Asher Brown.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Someone once told me that God can heal a broken heart, but He just has to have all the pieces. The trouble is collecting all of the pieces to give to God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And making sure He has enough super glue.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Two months filled with doors. In Spain, in Italy, in Greece. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I like the rocking of the ship. It helps me sleep at night. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Pennsylvania can be a cold place, especially in the winter. Lots of snow, not a lot of sunlight. That’s not a good mix for someone with a lot of depression and not a lot of friends.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I believe in the power of words. Before, I used to just say that. Never really meant it. Then you experience a word. An awful word. You experience it twice in big, bold, red letters on your door. Then, you understand the power of words.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Depression. Is like quicksand. Getting saved, requires reaching. Out.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Wish that your enemies might be alone, but never lonely. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Video after video. “It Gets Better.” Story after story. “It Gets Better.” Song after song. “It Gets Better.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">When you hear something over and over and over and over and over. It becomes true. Or you think.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">A dinner in Spain. A mountain in Italy. An island in Croatia. A camel in Morocco. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">When you’re at the bottom of a mountain, the only place to go is up.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">When you’re isolated in a single room, the only way out is the door. Is there writing on it?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">“Hi, nice to meet you. Where do you go to school?” Fixated face, engaging eyes. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I’ve always enjoyed meeting new people. That way, I get to hear their stories, and I like stories. So I create them, I read them, and I listen to them. They inspire me, entertain me, challenge me, revive me.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">People at home, always: “What’s wrong?” I tell them. “I have to go.” Well, now I have to go. Spain, Italy, Greece.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">So I left. Said my goodbyes, packed my things, and walked through the door.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Don’t befriend me, because I will care too much. Don’t date me, because I will love too much. Don’t support me, because I will disappoint too much.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Oh, Alice, you seemed to have lost your muchness. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Mirrors are windows into the soul. That’s bullshit about eyes. You can train your eyes to lie. The mirror; that shows who you truly are.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Can a heart heal a broken God?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">First day. They taught us how to use the life vest. So we don’t sink.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Billy Lucas. Tyler Clementi. Didn’t get life vests. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Dubrovnik is called The Pearl of the Adriatic. It sits on the coast, surrounded by a crumbling, ever ancient wall. In the wall, a door that bears no writing welcomes people inside. When you walk inside, the fairy tale becomes reality. Perhaps more exciting, reality becomes a fairy tale.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">People giving advice: Being bullied is a rite of passage. We all endure it.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Why does that make it ok?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Try looking at the world. Try looking at the world through the looking glass. If you can’t handle it, you shall lose your head. Nonsense is sense in the mirror. Dream is truth. The roses are red.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">“Can I talk to you?” They say Of Course. “Ok. Lately, I’ve…”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">A woman hands me a leaf and bids me well. I can give her nothing in return, save silence. Her gift is a symbol of vitality. My gift is quiet. Like a closed door.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Can you be in the closet when the closet is labeled? </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">In port, I sleep from exhaustion. On water, I sleep from rocking. No nightmares. But a dreamless sleep can haunt in its own way. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">“I can’t explain myself, I’m afraid, Sir, because I’m not myself you see.” </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">If you get sun burnt, does that mean that the sun likes you or hates you? My skin remains untouched.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">In the main square of Athens, a woman with a microphone speaks to a large crowd. Her words are filled with discontent. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Thirtieth day, list your accomplishments. Climbed a mountain. Kayaked an island. Walked through doors. Spain, Italy, Greece. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">The school promised me. They would do everything they could to find the person with the red paint. Investigations are not as fun as they appear in movies. Not an accurate reflection.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">The ship glides on a broken mirror from country to country.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Upon reaching the peak of Mt. Vesuvius, I sat to rest. My heart was calmed. With it, my mind and spirit settled. I tasted air for the first time in months. Surrounded by light and ash. Perhaps I am a phoenix. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I called my mom in the late afternoon. She answered in the early morning. From different sides of the mirror, we shared stories. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Quicksand is like depression. It refuses to let you go.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">At St. Peter’s, there is a door that is opened once every ten years. A special key is required. Only the Pope may open the door.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">They say that time heals everything. If you are seven hours ahead, do your wounds heal seven times as fast?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">When opportunity knocks, you have to answer the door. Otherwise, the pounding will drive you mad.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">But we are all mad here.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">We cross the Atlantic once more. Sunsets guide the way. On our third night, the ocean is draped in a black veil. It is in mourning. The moon reveals itself. Silver bends in the light. My soul meets its glow.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">But the sun returned the next morning. For it had to. The veil is dark, but never permanent. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">The beaches of Bulgaria are soft and white. Toes sink in the sand. I pull them back out before they are burned.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I am told that I look good in red.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">On a starless night in Croatia, I dance with a man my age at a club. A woman approaches us and her eyes are fire. Despite the language barrier, her words cut like glass. A blink and she is air. I breathe in, and dance.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Raymond Chase will never learn to dance. Thirteen year old Ryan Halligan learned only to tie knots.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">“Everything’s got a moral, if only you can find it.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Words were typed. They traveled through the looking glass and were read. In a moment, he had knocked on death’s door.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Or perhaps the words were red. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Sixtieth day, list your accomplishments. Rode a camel. Dined in Asia. Looked in the mirror.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Breathing on my reflection, I wrote a message in the fog. I myself cannot pass through yet, but my words can.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Thus, without sound I spoke.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">My silent self and myself silent. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">“I wonder if I’ve been changed in the night? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I’m not the same, the next question is ‘Who in the world am I?’” </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">It takes a life to learn how to live.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Depression is like quicksand. To the trained eye, you can see it ahead. Take caution to step around, and you will be safe. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Like the sun, I have come out again. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">They say that when God closes a door, he opens a window. A window into what? I think that I know.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">If Dubrovnik seemed to whisper like a mischievous lover and loneliness like dew evaporates, and Athens seemed great agitator and forceful mirror beside, home seems far less end than another port.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">The voyage ends, but the journey continues.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">A promise fulfilled. Curiouser and curiouser. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">There is no telling which side of the mirror I live on. Or how many times I have followed the rabbit.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">There are wonderful things about home, too.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">The soft purr of Dinah.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Like Keats, I shall be. “Here lies one whose name was writ in water.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Or I prefer written water. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">When you knock, opportunity has to answer the door. In Spain, Italy, Greece. When you become a traveler, you are a traveler for life. There is no climbing up the rabbit hole. The mirror your friend. Dream your lover. Truth your own.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I have learned to dance. More importantly, I have learned to breathe. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Because.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Alice has returned to Wonderland.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">~</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading this summer.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-size: 12pt;">“If my ship sails from sight, it does not mean my journey ends; it simply means the river bends”—J. Enoch Powell</span></i></div>Craiggorshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14071667685055656973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904711455920965833.post-82730230037445893972011-08-17T08:50:00.000-07:002011-08-17T08:50:28.723-07:00Casablahblah (and Other Moroccan Tales)<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Let’s imagine that there are three kinds of people in the world.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1)<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span>Those unwilling to step outside their comfort zone</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2)<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span>Those willing to step outside their comfort zone</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3)<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span>Those willing to jump outside their comfort zone</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">If you are going to travel to Morocco someday, you must fit into the third and final category. One and two will not cut it. Morocco is, and will be for any foreseeable future, an incredibly conservative, Muslim country. There is nothing necessarily wrong with that, but if you wish to experience the rich culture and somewhat arcane lifestyle of the Moroccan people, then you must be willing to go against all instinct, to make yourself vulnerable, and to open your mind. But I promise you, I promise you, if you do, the rewards are infinite.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Casablanca is, much like Civitavecchia in Italy, a gateway city. Aside from the Hassan II mosque, built quite recently, and an exact replica of Rick’s Café from the classic movie, there is not much else to see or do in Casablanca. It was the first city we visited that did not have a commercial port; instead we had to dock in the industrial port, which was two miles from the city itself. Now, waking up the first day in a new port is always an interesting experience. You never know what the view outside your window will be. It could be lush, rolling hills in Dubrovnik, a black stoned castle in Naples, or even the Hagia Sophia across the bay in Istanbul. In Casablanca, I pulled up the shade on my porthole in the morning to find dust, half-completed construction projects, giant steel boxes, and a crane that was probably more rust than metal. And I couldn’t see a single building from the city itself. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Initial reaction? “Screw this.” I had just sat through a two hour pre-port the night before in which they had warned us we were about to disembark in the most dangerous port on our itinerary and that the threat of being assaulted, robbed, scammed, and apparently blown to bits by anti-American Muslim radicals was incredibly high. And then, peace! See ya! Have fun, hope you come back with all your limbs intact. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Awesome. So with all of those lovely death facts in mind, and the view of the African Compton outside my window, I was about ready to curl back up in bed and sleep Casablanca away. But I didn’t do that. I didn’t give in to my first instinct. This was the final stop. I had to make the most of it. I had to trek those two miles into the city. Luckily, I discovered that a free shuttle ran from out ship to the gates of the port so, ready to undertake our final stop by the horns, I hopped on with my friends, took the ten minute ride, still somewhat cautious about the abandoned port buildings we kept passing, and got dropped off in the dust. No, literally, the dust. Stepped off the bus into a nice old patch of dusty dust. Alright.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Past the port security guards lies the main street of Casablanca. According to a map we were smack dab in the middle of the street and could choose to go left, right, or straight. Both Rick’s Café and the Hassan II mosque were off to the right, a block or two apart from one another. In order to make sure we had something to do on our last day in port, however, we agreed to save both for later in the week. Thus, the first day in Casablanca involved a whole lot of nothing, aside from free Wi-Fi in a nearby hotel lobby. Sitting in an air-conditioned hotel bar, drinking Fanta (no alcohol during the day, because it’s Ramadan), and Facebook chatting with friends from home was both relaxing and unnerving. As seasoned travelers by this point in the summer, it was completely against our nature to twiddle our thumbs and just sit when a whole new city was right at our feet. It was entirely against out instincts. But when we spoke to some of our fellow voyagers later, we were assured that we made the right decision. No one did anything that first day. Because there was nothing to do.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">But that’s ok! Because the next morning I was on a bus with some friends on an SAS sponsored trip to Marrakech, a large city four and a half hours away from Casablanca. Marrakech is one of three cities in Morocco you definitely want to spend your time in, the other two being Fez and Rabat, the capital. Arriving in Marrakech, we checked in to our hotel and were quickly whisked outside the city to a quaint Moroccan village where we ate a traditional lunch of eggs and meatballs, couscous, vegetables, cinnamon oranges, and mint tea. The whole ordeal proved to be rather humorous considering Moroccans generally do not eat with silverware. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">After lunch came the crux of the trip, and perhaps the event I was most looking forward to this entire summer: the camel trek. For an hour and a half, through the palm groves and desert that lay outside Marrakech, we rode single file on the quirkiest animals I have ever seen. I chose my special friend, whom I dubbed Albert, as soon as I saw him. He was quiet, decently groomed, and practically unhinging his jaw as he chewed on God-knows-what. Which is a hilarious sight, by the way. Albert and I had quite the bonding experience as he carried me through the fields and slopes of Marrakech, and despite the 112 degree sun that bore down on us, Albert pushed forward and for that, I salute him.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">During my jaunt through the desert with Albert, I picked up on a few camel riding tips that I believe now make me an expert on camel riding. If anyone out there wants to disprove me, then you can go to Marrakech and ride a camel yourself and we’ll compare notes. Until then, listen up. The first thing I learned about riding camels is that these odd little creatures do not get up with their front legs first, like most other animals. Instead, they hoist their hind legs up first, then the front legs, which means that when you are sitting on your friendly neighborhood camel and have only a flimsy metal bar to hold onto, it can get a little tense and panicky when you are lurched forward and feel yourself slipping off mid-rise. Most people tend to react by flailing their arms or kicking their legs repeatedly to keep balance, and I can tell you that this method of reassurance ends up being not-so-reassuring as all the people who employed this method fell off and had to climb back on, this time red in the face and covered in dirt. What you have to do, though it feels about as strange as turning around on a roller coaster, is stay completely still. The camel knows what it’s doing, and as long you don’t move, you won’t fall. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Successful camel riding tidbit number two essentially reverses this principle for when you are actually riding the camel. All you really have to sit on is a giant carpet with a metal hook attached to hold on to, so balance becomes a key component to confidently maneuvering your camel ride. It’s tempting to remain as stiff as possible once the camel actually starts moving, because you feel as though any slight movement that will disrupt your initial balance will send you toppling, and all of a sudden this intense image of your head getting trampled by giant ass camel feet is stuck in your head. But if you keep that tense frame, then be prepared to let your brain get squished. Letting your arms and limbs fall as loose as they can, and relaxing back into the hump of the camel, actually makes the ride much more comfortable and enjoyable. Thinking about your balance is no longer a conscious effort, it just flows. Which gives you more time to take silly pictures of your friends doing ridiculous poses, or of the girl in front of you, whose pants are getting nibbled on by her camel. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">That first night in Marrakech, after the excitement of the day’s Arabian adventure had worn off slightly, my friends and I decided to<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>journey into the city to catch an ethnic show that our tour guide for this three day trip promised would include belly dancing, snake charming, horse riding, and a free drink. For the price we were offered, all of this seemed like an incredible deal, if we could actually find the place where the show occurred. Evidently, it was on the other side of Marrakech from out hotel, and walking at night, being the Americans that we are, is not a great idea unless your destination is only five to ten minutes away. Kindly enough, the hotel manager arranged for a van to come pick us up outside the hotel. The evening proceeded as follows:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">9:15 pm: Dinner ends in the hotel dining room. Six of us agree that attending the aforementioned show would be entertaining, worthwhile, and would beat sitting around the hotel playing cards all evening. Inquires made as to the location of this show.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">9:30 pm: Location revealed, through desk clerk, as “Too far. You walk, you die.” Plan to attend show called into question. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Agreement made that staying shank-free is top priority this port (and life in general). Hotel manager overhears the dilemma, insists that he will call a van service for us, free of charge. The likelihood of any shank related events occurring decreases.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">9:35 pm: Bathroom breaks followed by six successive withdrawals from the lobby’s ATM machine. Moroccan dirham given to hotel manager to pay for our tickets. Moroccan dirham deposited into hotel manager’s pockets. Questionable looks ensue.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">9:47 pm: Couches become a more appealing waiting venue.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">9:58 pm: Solitaire begins on various smart phone devices </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">10:12 pm: Hotel manager spotted whispering to man in jumpsuit while gesticulating in our direction. Group arches eyebrows and exchanges suspicious glances.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">10:22 pm: Agreement made to forgo plan for the evening in eight minutes due to lack of transportation.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">10:30 pm: Aforementioned van arrives at the hotel gates. All six of us pile into the plain white vehicle and take note of lack of seatbelts and one window. Driver shuts the slider between front and passenger sections of van. A single light is turned on above our heads. Likelihood of shank related events increases slightly.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">10:39 pm: Van passes a sign in Arabic that group concurs says “You are now leaving Marrakech.” Drive down a dirt road without lights, buildings, or signs commences. Likelihood of shank related events increases dramatically.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">10:55 pm: Van rounds a corner and passes under a gate that materializes from nowhere. The sign reads “Ali Baba’s Fantasia Tourista.” Despite sign, there is noticeable lack of any building, structure, or breathing individual. Likelihood of shank related events enters weird limbo stasis.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">11:00 pm: Van deposits cargo at sudden entrance to Fantasia. Likelihood of shank related events decreases extensively. Group proceeds inside and is seated underneath gigantic canopy.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">11:05 pm: Moroccan beer ordered.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">11:10 pm: Moroccan beer consumed.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">11:25 pm: Relocation to stadium seating surrounding a strange dirt field. Costumed performers stand at one end of field.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">11:30 pm: Show commences, involving one belly dancer performing one move to one song one time, several men firing several guns on several horses several times, a narrative spoken in Arabic the entire time, a boy on a donkey, acrobatic tricks performed by acrobats on acrobatic horses (?), a parade of aforementioned costumed performers, and a magic carpet. Group concurs on mass confusion, as well as mass entertainment. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">12:30 am: Aforementioned show ends. Group reloads into plain white seatbeltless van.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">1:00 am: Group returns to hotel on other side of Marrakech. General consensus that ignoring instincts in bizarre situation proved beneficial. Goodnights administered.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">And thus, another typical SAS night came to an end, and gave way to another typical SAS day: an all day tour of Marrakech featuring botanical gardens, dead people’s tombs, a giant palace, and the Most Irritating Marketplace on Earth. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">The Most Irritating Marketplace on Earth can be found in the center square, or medina, of Marrakech. An elaborate series of alleyways also filled with shops and boutiques surround the square so that you are enclosed on all sides by vendors. The marketplace is nowhere near as striking or impressive as Istanbul’s Grand Bazaar, but it does the job well enough. And in an entirely different manner. In Turkey, the salesmen are pushy and quick-witted, but if you kindly reply “No thank you” to their advances, they respectfully bow their heads to you and allow you on your way. In Morocco, all bets are off. When you step into the medina, you are like raw meat in a shark tank. Which is why you’ve got to go in with a cage to protect yourself. You must know what you are up against.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What you are up against is the following:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">A man with a monkey on his shoulder runs towards you. “Please, please, my friend, here, here…” you protest slightly, you think holding the monkey would be awesome, but you know they will rip you off. “Please, please, my friend.” Suddenly, the monkey is on your shoulder. Suddenly, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">two</i> monkeys are on your shoulder. Another man has evidently jumped down from a flying carpet and is now arguing with the first man about which monkey you should be holding. A third man taps you on the back and you delicately turn, keeping on monkey cradled in your arm and the other balanced on your shoulder. The third man holds a tray with an assortment of trinkets and knick knacks. “My friend, my friend, where you from? Where you from?” You feign confusion. “Please, please, where you from? States? Ewnited States? Obama? Spice Girls? I know your cousin. I live with him six years.” Somewhere in the chaos, you manage to get your picture taken. But wait, all of your female friends suddenly have Henna tattooed up and down their arms and legs and short, hunchbacked women are holding out their hands for money. The two men with the monkeys are suddenly demanding payment, a ridiculous amount of dirham. You offer to pay half of that, a generous offer in and of itself, and they proceed to act incredibly insulted, curse America, and threaten to call the police.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">And all this happens at the entrance.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">I know that doesn’t sound like the most pleasant experience, and at first it isn’t. That’s because one’s first instinct is of intense irritation. Some people give in and end up screaming at the locals who forced Henna on their arms or put a cobra around their neck (somewhat justified). Some people meekly pay the ridiculous prices in order to avoid further confrontation. But neither of those roads has to be taken to survive the Most Irritating Marketplace on Earth. All you need to do is suppress your initial reaction of annoyance and fear, and fight back. Don’t worry, it’s entirely customary. Once they threaten to send you to jail (which is merely a bluff) respond with something clever. For me, I chose “Then I guess I’m taking your monkeys with me.” Watch closely, because you will catch your adversaries smile. You have entered the game now. Lots of witty banter ensues in the Most Irritating Marketplace, and with it reduced prices. As long as you negotiate and fight back long enough, the vendors will give in and charge you the appropriate price, often times giving you a pat on the back as they leave or blowing you a kiss as a sign of appreciation for giving in to their custom of “aggressive negotiation.” </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">This tradition is not easy to do by any means, because every few feet a similar situation happens again, and you must repeat the entire process over again, which in turn makes the medina the Most Irritating Marketplace on Earth. But a hell of a lot of fun too.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">My time in Morocco was book ended in Casablanca, where I returned for our final night in port. For our last hoorah, we suited up (somewhat literally) and reserved a dinner at Rick’s Café, which was so strikingly similar to the set from the 1942 film I wouldn’t have been surprised if Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman sat down next to us. The following day, Friday, we went to visit the Hassan II mosque, which sits on a cliff overlooking the ocean, aware that since it was the Islamic holy day we would most likely be denied entrance. We were, but rather than leave as our first instinct told us, we stuck around and I eventually had the good luck to be taken down into the baths beneath the mosque by one of the mosque’s imams, who showed me how to properly wash my face and hands as if I were a Muslim preparing for prayer. This intimate experience is one I am eternally grateful for. After walking around the baths for awhile, the doors of the mosque were opened in preparation for the noonday prayer and we were allowed to stay and watch, just outside the doors, as a small Muslim family proceeded to pray. A part of me felt that it was wrong to watch them perform such a deeply personal act, but I could not turn my head away from how perfectly in sync and lithe their bodies were as they kneeled, stood, and raised their hands in silent reverence.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Leaving Morocco was a bittersweet experience. Boarding the MV Explorer for the last time and bidding farewell to the final stop on our itinerary took a lot of effort. My in-port experiences were over, and who can predict when I will return to any of the countries I was fortunate enough to visit, if ever? On the other hand, Morocco had drained me physically, mentally, and emotionally. I was looking forward to eight days at sea, for the ocean is nature’s great healer. Standing out on deck, watching the Moroccan shoreline dip into the horizon, a content smile found its way across my face. How glad I was to have left my comfort zone, and how eager I was to do it again. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
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</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><i>“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts”—Mark Twain</i></div>Craiggorshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14071667685055656973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904711455920965833.post-81735620531609018442011-08-13T06:10:00.000-07:002011-08-13T06:10:32.298-07:00A Tale of One City (on Two Continents)<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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</style> <![endif]--> <div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Istanbul? It sits on two continents, refusing to commit to either one, guarding the Black Sea from outsiders wishing to pass through from the Aegean. It is a layered city, founded as Byzantium, rechristened Constantinople, and now dubbed Istanbul. History weaves through labyrinthine streets here, a modern bridge arches over storied waters, crumbling city walls intermix with skyscrapers and apartment buildings, and you feel the warm breath of the city. It is alive. It grows and changes and transforms before you, and should you try to understand its complexities, should you try to grasp it in your hands, you will fail. Istanbul will slip through your fingers like water, leaving you thirsty for more.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Our ship docks on a Friday morning; though we were so eager to get there we had to stop in the middle of the ocean so we wouldn’t arrive early. Turkish soldiers with coal black rifles slung over their shoulders issue us landing cards before we leave the port. We are told that these are more valuable than our passports; should we lose them, we will not be allowed on or off the ship. I’m still not sure which is a more chilling possibility. We are warned of potential terrorist strikes in crowded Istanbul streets. A group of radicals is displeased with the number of American tourists disrespecting the Turkish way of life.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">And yet, we pass through the gates of the port and are greeted with smiles and friendly nods as we cautiously navigate the unfamiliar streets. Everyone runs for the ATM’s—soon our pockets are lined with Turkish lira and hope. Everyone is in disagreement about where to begin. Our number of things to do and see in Turkey is longer than a shopping list in December.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What are the ingredients to have a successful five days in Istanbul? What is needed to achieve that satisfied taste inside? We start with something spicy: the Grand Bazaar.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The Grand Bazaar sits on a hill in the center of Istanbul’s shopping district. Watch stores, mini-markets, and cell phone carriers line the many streets we criss-cross to find our way to the entrance, for the Bazaar is an indoor market. An enormous stone building that shelters three whole blocks of Istanbul all to its own, and houses more than three thousand shops, the Bazaar is guarded by armed security who wave magnetic batons over our personage to make sure the atmosphere and allure of shopping in the Bazaar is not disrupted by…I don’t know, a madman with a machine gun? An insane woman with a shiv hidden under her dress? Terrorists? None of us are sure. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">This momentary hesitation is all we can afford once we enter the Bazaar. After that, it’s game time. Amiable chaos greets us inside. A veritable sensory overload commences. Banners the color of sunset canopy the rows of shops. Like an optical allusion, the aisles of merchandise stretch beyond the eye’s limit, daring us to see what lies on the other side. Soft rose and lavender silks act as doors into jewelry cubicles. Dark patterned carpets are transformed into the walls between proprieties. Step here, and a crisp cinnamon scent hangs in the air, but take a step or two to our right across the slippery cobblestones and we inhale grilled corn, which sizzles and spits as the Turkish man simultaneously cooks and oversees an exchange with a Norwegian woman. He shouts in Turkish, a loud language filled with sharp shrills and shrieks, but somehow his voice makes a charming melody with the wind chimes that twinkle above the table of beaming Turkish lamps at the store down the row. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Taking this in, it is awhile before we notice that we have been pushed, prodded, and shoved to a completely new section of the Bazaar. Direction is a fallacy here. The entrance is never the exit. Should you come here, expect to be discombobulated. Perhaps you will stop at a shop to buy a beautiful leather wallet, but five minutes later I guarantee you will somehow find yourself looking at antique rugs and brass candle holders three shops down. The Turkish salesmen glide through the Bazaar like Banshees, wailing and shouting to their friends and competitors as they effortlessly twist in between carpets and hanging fabrics to get your attention. “Come, come see my store. Please, please. I have what you want.” An instant later, you are seated on a stool that has materialized from between a stack of handmade leather journals and a table of jeweled animals. A diamond zoo. You blink, and a cup of apple tea rests in your right hand, while a decorated plate of pastries is balanced in your left. A procession of smiling salesmen show you everything from stone wine glasses to marriage robes. You could try to get up, try to find the original store with the original salesman with the original item you were interested in, but I guarantee: all of them will have somehow vanished into the whirling carpets and hookah smoke. If you are lucky, you may notice that the store in which you are currently held semi-hostage carries wallets, which are on display at the store’s entrance. After your second glass of apple tea, you will timidly ask to see them. The salesman will tell you that his partner, the man in charge of wallets, is saying his prayers at the moment and will return shortly. In the meantime why don’t you look at magnificent Evil Eye jewelry and scented candles? Welcome to the Grand Bazaar.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Speaking of prayers, you are likely to encounter this situation a lot. If you are not a patient person, avoid Istanbul. Often times a waiter or shop clerk will take a few moments to pray during the day (to be precise, five times a day) and should you happen to be a customer at that moment, silence and reverence are your only options for dealing with this situation. Turkey is a nation where 97% of the population practice Islam, thus the country is fairly conservative and even those who do not identify as Muslims expect dignity and respect from visitors. All this really requires is that your knees and shoulders be covered, especially if you are going to visit one of Istanbul’s incredibly stunning mosques. Shorts and tank tops are not only disrespectful, but they give you away as an American, and thus you are prey to scams, con artists, and anti-American sentiments.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">What fascinates me about Americans, and what I have come to observe these past seven ports, is that wherever we go, we expect to be treated like kings. As if wherever an American steps, that plot of soil or patch of grass becomes theirs. They own it, and act accordingly. WRONG. If you are a traveler in a foreign country, you are a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">guest</i>. Act accordingly to those standards. The fact that you have an American birth certificate to your name guarantees you nothing aside from a negative stereotype that all American travelers are loud, rude, obnoxious, and uneducated about the places they are visiting. I wonder where that came from? The American government only has so much power to protect you while you are abroad, and I have found that many Americans give far too much credit to the U.S. Embassy. Either respect the country that you are visiting, or get out. Americans are disliked enough as it is outside our borders.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I apologize for the rant, but some things just have to be said. A number of students on the voyage could be heard complaining about how rude and inconsiderate the Turkish people acted towards them. These same individuals left the ship in booty shorts, a bikini top, t-shirt, hoop earrings, and makeup that rivaled Ronald McDonald’s. In the United States, we call those kinds of people trashy. In Turkey, they call those kinds of people Americans.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I feel bad for these individuals, however, because if they had simply followed the dress code, they could have met some amazing people. In general, the Turkish people were some of the nicest men and women I have ever spoken to in my life. No matter where you wandered in Istanbul someone was greeting you with a smile, a friendly wave, or a cheerful “Hello.” People were more than happy to converse with us, point us in the direction of whatever palace or mosque we were visiting that day, or sit and drink apple tea with us while we talked about where we were from, what we thought of Istanbul, etc. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">And while Istanbul is grand, the rest of Turkey offers a more subtle beauty, should you choose to explore it. I took a trip to the ruins of the ancient city of Troy and the modern memorials at Gallipoli, which sits on the Asiatic side of the country (that’s right, I went to Asia<span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"></span>). Troy is worth the hike if you are interested in history, but just knowing that the ruins are there seemed to be enough for most people. I personally enjoy visiting museums, ruins, and ancient sites because of the incredible stories they have to offer, and there seems to be no greater place to listen to a story than at Troy, a city of once mythic proportions. Evidently, Troy began as a miniscule village barely notable for anything, and expanded somewhere around nine times over the course of its existence, which has prompted excavators and archeologists to refer to certain settlements at the ruins as “Troy I,” “Troy II,” “Troy VII,” etc. The infamous Trojan War, which some scholars still debate the legitimacy of, was said to have happened during the time of Troy VI and brought an end to the Bronze Age.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Now, Troy has been reduced to dust and rubble, with many artifacts and relics stored in a small museum nearby. There is something magical about walking where this Homeric city once stood, however. For being almost completely destroyed hundreds of years ago, a decent portion of Troy has been preserved and historians have deduced what a number of old sites once were in Troy’s glory days. Those stories in themselves are fascinating, but I believe that Troy’s greatest tale is one of perseverance. The city kept rejuvenating and bringing new life to itself, expanding, growing, and adapting to changes throughout the course of its existence, and even now parts of it still stand, refusing to give up. Therein lies a message I believe everyone can appreciate: even when you get knocked down, destroyed, and are on the brink of extermination, you can find a way to build yourself up again, this time bigger, better, and stronger. If you do this, you are bound to leave a lasting legacy.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I imagine my own legacy will be something similar to Gallipoli’s. In early 1915, British forces invaded the Gallipoli peninsula in Turkey in the hopes of gaining access to Constantinople, which they hoped to capture so as to relieve their ally Russia in the east. Turkey, though an ally of Germany during World War I, had been free of conflict since the Crimean War in 1854, but they were forced to set up defensive fortifications to combat the naval and army invasion of the Brits. The resulting standoff ended in tragedy for both sides. The British troops were given incorrect coordinates for their landings, and thus confusion ensued once they reached the beaches of Gallipoli, where they remained trapped as Ottomans rained down gunfire. Over the next eight months, the closeness of the front lines and an epidemic of dysentery resulted in 94,000 deaths between the Allied and Turk sides. In the end, the British forces gave up on the idea of conquering the Ottoman Empire and retreated. A valiant effort by both parties, but with a death count that high, I don’t think anyone could say one side won over the other. War is the only victor in war.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">With that story fresh in our minds, our group arrived in Gallipoli and began a tour of the various memorials and cemeteries dedicated to the lives lost in one of the First World War’s bloodiest tragedies. We began at the cemetery where the young British soldiers who sacrificed their lives are buried. A marble slab marks the entrance to this quiet graveyard that rests on a lush green hillside right on the coast between a grove of trees on the side of an indiscriminate Turkish road. Inscribed on the slab are words dedicated to the families of these long lost British boys from the Turkish people. They express their sorrow that the grass of Turkey was stained red with the sons of England, and that from their premature departures there is a hope that man may someday learn to silence the gun and sheath the knife so that future generations of our world will not have to experience the brutality these men endured. The inscription ends saying that Turkey has welcomed these sons of England as their own children, and grieve deeply for their loss. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I’m not sure if it was reading these heartfelt, genuine words of despair at the loss of people who had once attacked their own shores, or if it was seeing the epitaphs that bereaved mothers and widowed young women wrote for these men, or even the solemn beauty of the midnight blue waves lazily spilling onto the peach colored sands below the dewy grass dotted with rose, lavender, and bright gold under the shade of a gnarled and full pear tree, but something about Gallipoli gripped my heart. Sliding off my flip flops, I treaded lightly down each row, taking in the names and dates on the tombstones. Isn’t it strange that after all we accomplish in our lives, all that we do and see and learn, in the end, we are reduced to a name and, if we are lucky, a date? That’s how the story ends. That’s how all the stories end. With a name.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Private Futter. Sergeant Rawlings. Their stories were ended just when it was getting good. Pondering <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>this, I couldn’t help think of other young boys whose stories were violently concluded due to a different kind of human viciousness; Billy Lucas. Asher Brown. Tyler Clementi. So many potentially great tales cast aside by ignorance and cruelty. So many lives wasted.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">~</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I suppose my trip to Gallipoli was the bittersweet ingredient included in my recipe for a delightful Turkish experience. Speaking of delight, candy addicts (or Chronicles of Narnia fans, like myself) will enjoy the abundance of Turkish delight found in Istanbul. There are free samples on every street corner, and thousands of different flavors (fruits, nuts, chocolates) that you can mix and match for the perfect box. Istanbul is full of these little treasures which make the city sparkle. The Turkish baths are a simultaneously frightening and therapeutic experience where every inch of your body (and I’m talking EVERY INCH) is scrubbed down and washed with secret Turkish oils that relieve you of layers of dead skin (you still keep your tan) and apparently make your skin smoother than the day you were born. It’s just a tad awkward when two or three Turkish masseurs are pouring all sorts of oils and water on your naked body for close to an hour. But we all did it. It was one of those “must do’s,” and it really does make you feel alive again.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">And of course there are the Sufi Whirling Dervishes, a sect of Muslim mystics who dance themselves into a trance that brings them closer to God. Men and women dress themselves in long, balloon-like rainbow garbs and twirl and lunge between one another, never touching, as they commit mind and body over to a spiritual presence. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">Being a primarily Islamic nation, spirituality is essential to life in Turkey. There are mosques in every Turkish neighborhood, which are the cells of the body of Istanbul. For <span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">even individual buildings in Istanbul exhale the dust of this layered history. The grand Hagia Sophia is one of the greatest attractions in the world, with one of the greatest layered stories as well. Designed as a church, converted into a mosque, and currently functioning as a museum, the Hagia Sophia has had quite the identity crisis. But that is what life is all about: questioning one’s identity, seeking out what one’s place in the world is, and finding out what one is best suited to do. Perhaps the Hagia Sophia took all these years to figure out what it was best suited for; what it was meant to do. And if the great Hagia Sophia can change its mind on what it wants to be, why can’t the rest of us? </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It was the Hagia Sophia that most sparked my mind into thinking about Istanbul as a living and changing city. Walking around the great former mosque I was very aware that I was looking at a presentation. A beautiful presentation, of a beautiful architectural feat, but nonetheless a presentation. I found it hard to discern what was original and what was reinforced construction. I kept thinking that if only I could have seen the Hagia Sophia in its “glory days,” the days when it actually <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">functioned</i> as a mosque, I should have had a much different experience. I imagine I would have found myself appreciating culture and the Islamic tradition more than appreciating beauty and the effects of good preservation. Gazing up at the intricate ceilings and working my way around the crowds of people, I found myself thinking of a favorite Thorow phrase of mine: “And what is left when spirits have fled from holy places?” Eventually, I realized that I was thinking of the Hagia Sophia in all the wrong terms. I was thinking of it simply as a museum, but the Hagia Sophia will never be just a museum. It has a history. It has a story. It has layers. Layers that were unfolding before my very eyes. Perhaps the holy spirits have left the Hagia Sophia, but they have left behind a rich history and an enchanting story that has the power to inspire just as much as any spirit can.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">After leaving the Hagia Sophia, as I wandered the streets of Istanbul, becoming a thread lost in the labyrinth, I realized that Istanbul and I are one and the same. Like the great city of Istanbul, which refuses to be defined in singular terms, I too cannot be defined by one aspect, by one part of me. We both have layers and complexities that are deep and rewarding. I do not have to accept becoming defined by one part of my personality, by one aspect of my life; such a notion is as ridiculous as asking Istanbul to only emphasize one part of its culture, one part of its history. Such a task is not only ridiculous, it is impossible. Istanbul is too vast, too intricate, to ever accept only one part of its layers as true. I refuse to do the same. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I have wondered why no other city on our journey this summer has inspired this revelation for me, for we have certainly visited a number of grand layered cities, from Rome to Dubrovnik to Athens. Perhaps it was that, for the first time, when we left Istanbul, I felt as though the mystery of the city still remained. That, despite keeping a tight schedule and exhausting myself thoroughly, I had seen only a fraction of the things I could see in Istanbul. I had only skimmed the surface, of that I was sure, and I knew I would experience difficulty when I attempted to write this blog and inform those of you reading at home about the magic of Istanbul, because I only knew part of it. It was like leaving the grocery store and knowing I’ve forgotten an essential ingredient, but I was unable to quite put my finger on what that missing piece was. I had only seen tiny parts of the great Istanbul. Likewise, there are people who only see select parts of others in the world. They only view one of layer of a person, when there are hundreds more to uncover.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If I am sure of anything, it is that I will someday return to Istanbul to continue searching for and experiencing all of its clandestine parts. For, in exploring Istanbul, I was exploring myself. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Istanbul and I are one. We have stories. We are growing and transforming and adding layers and telling our story as they happen. We are complex and intricate and unable to be defined by one aspect of our makeup. We are alive.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;"><br />
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</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;"><i><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Traveling can be one of the most rewarding forms of introspection”—Lawrence Durrell</span></i></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj61ON0AWFgP7CfUxKBLQC6h0clss-Y_rN3IWFb0iQIZWoBfM1R6AWnkocp-dxmJko7SWQLwxjysP54a4whqhjDcjD7LQ9XIr6lLp701ISh0HH7kiTHiA9WYbyxWKbqBSAUiM2Mn7Etp44x/s1600/DSCF3513.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj61ON0AWFgP7CfUxKBLQC6h0clss-Y_rN3IWFb0iQIZWoBfM1R6AWnkocp-dxmJko7SWQLwxjysP54a4whqhjDcjD7LQ9XIr6lLp701ISh0HH7kiTHiA9WYbyxWKbqBSAUiM2Mn7Etp44x/s320/DSCF3513.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;"><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">There are several reasons as to why I waited to write about Bulgaria so long after we had departed Varna. From the logistical standpoint, there was only one day of travel between there and Istanbul, with a lot to accomplish on ship. From a creative standpoint, I felt dry. I could not, for the life of me, figure out what I wanted to capture about Bulgaria in this post that would be unique and interesting to those of you reading it now. Bulgaria does have a rich history and a rich cultural with hundreds, if not thousands, of sites to see; the problem is that all of this is centered in the country’s capital, Sofia, and we were docked in Varna, on the opposite side of the country. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Varna is, first and foremost, a summer town. Several Germans we ran into informed that while Americans go to Mexico for spring break and summer vacation, Germans go to Bulgaria. I certainly couldn’t blame them. The beaches were clean, white, and hot. The bars and the clubs were right there, and cheap alcohol was easily accessible. Seemed like a regular Cancun to me. I took no issue with the town of Varna, however, because, honestly, all of us Semester at Sea students needed a break. For those of you out there that think we are on an extended vacation, that all this travel is easy and laid out for us, that we’re not doing “real” work, and that we are on a cruise: you.are.dead.wrong. This voyage, wondrous as it is, is exhausting. When we are in port, we are constantly on the go, taking trips, completing field assignments, fulfilling personal goals, meeting new people, attempting to learn the language, riddling out public transportation, calculating how to tip waiters and cab drivers, reading maps, getting lost, getting unlost, etc. When we are <u>not</u> in port we are, again, constantly on the go: attending class, doing readings, taking notes, writing papers, journaling, club meetings, dinners, seminars, conferences, e-mailing, blogging, exercising, researching, preparing for port, etc. The next time one of your vacations involves all of that, let me know.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Point is, the SAS community needed a port that did not involve a lot of extensive travel within the country. That did not involve a lot of historic sites to see. That did not involve our normal level of energy. Once we arrived in Varna, Semester at Sea was on spring break. Which is why, though the break was much needed; I struggled to find something worth blogging about. The beaches in Bulgaria are not that different from the beaches at home. The restaurants we ate at were just as cliché as those you can find in Myrtle Beach and Ocean City (we had dinner on a pirate ship one evening. They told us it was real. We pretended to believe them). So, reflecting back on my four days of tanning, swimming, and “indulging appropriately and responsibly with alcoholic beverages” I found myself having a dilemma on what to write about. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">And then I realized: if Bulgaria was my “break country” then it seemed perfectly fitting that this post be my “break” post. So there you have it. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Don’t worry, I promise the post on Turkey won’t be nearly as disappointing. Because the break was definitely over by then.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
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</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">“It is necessary to relax your muscles when you can. Relaxing your brain is fatal”—Stirling Mos</span>s</i></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqRHTqTl6-zXXYUiJ06uNmtKXFoMPIVChklQQp-UX3dKAlEYwwWDu5-gVvmqkT8E7oRpbWRn-O_mltn_GxpZdxf-1WCjlE565_Ctm-ZBOa6Hd3taP9zC866MfQA8fABtqBytfePiu1jB_y/s1600/DSCF3436.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqRHTqTl6-zXXYUiJ06uNmtKXFoMPIVChklQQp-UX3dKAlEYwwWDu5-gVvmqkT8E7oRpbWRn-O_mltn_GxpZdxf-1WCjlE565_Ctm-ZBOa6Hd3taP9zC866MfQA8fABtqBytfePiu1jB_y/s320/DSCF3436.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i> Nom Nom Sushi!!</i></div>Craiggorshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14071667685055656973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904711455920965833.post-45104249603772240412011-07-25T02:51:00.000-07:002011-07-25T02:51:35.638-07:00My Big, Fat Greek Disaster<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Charlotte Bronte once said that life is so constructed that an event does not, cannot, and will not, match the expectation. For as much as I have studied the words of Miss Bronte over the past several years, I should have heeded her advice more carefully when I stepped off the ship in Athens, Greece. Then again, even if I had taken her wise words to heart, I should imagine that I would feel just as disappointed and frustrated as I feel now. For Greece, land of Olympian gods and mythological monsters, birthplace of democracy and free thinking, home of moussaka and gyros, has been thoroughly disenchanted.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Luckily, the wrath of Zeus did not descend upon me during my first day in Athens. Perhaps because I spent the day traveling back in time into an era where Zeus was still regarded as king of the gods instead of king of the postcards. The day began at the field where once stood Hadrian’s Arch and where now stands Hadrian’s Many Crumbling Columns and Large Chunks of Rock. This does not make what remains of the Arch any less impressive. Considering the Greeks constructed it 1,900 years ago I would say it’s holding up pretty well for its age. I have a feeling people won’t be paying five Euros to see my remains two millennia from now, so thumbs up to the Arch!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Fast forward about forty minutes, one gelato, and two aching feet later and there I am standing at the top of the ancient Athenian Acropolis. Most people assume that the Acropolis is the Parthenon, the ancient temple of Athena that sits at the top of the rather daunting hill you must climb. This is false; the term “Acropolis” refers to all of the ancient sites found on and around the small mountain on which the Parthenon overlooks Athens. So, on the way up, you can exhaust your digital camera to your heart’s content with the Temple to Nike, the Altar of Athena, the Sanctuary of Zeus, and the Theatre of Dionysus. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Eventually, you reach the Parthenon itself, which sits sternly at the top of the hill. A soft, Greek breeze touches your cheek as it weaves through the craggy columns. You blink through the pillars and see half-walls and cracked arches. As the people around you fight for nonexistent shade, you take a moment to soak up the feel of the Parthenon, perhaps cast your mind back to a time when the temple not only stood fully intact, but was also ornately painted and decorated for some primitive festival to Athena. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">If you can manage to do all of that, I tip my fedora to you. Because I couldn’t. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t call me a spoiled brat just yet, though, because I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">did </i>enjoy the Parthenon. I enjoyed the entire Acropolis. I found it to be an inspiring testament to how not only architecture, but culture and creativity, can last long after the creator is gone. It reminded me of the power of stories, which immortalize the storyteller as long as the tale keeps being told. The Parthenon is one epic story, keeping alive the history of ancient Greek religion, politics, and social studies. The problem is that all the chapters in this story are scattered about the world. As mighty as the Parthenon is, only about a third of the structure that currently watches over Greece’s capital is part of the original temple. A second third is housed in the Acropolis Museum, an impressive architectural feat all on its own, and the final third (mainly statues, sculptures, and archways) sit in the British Museum in London. Oopsie. Bearing this knowledge in mind, plus having to angle your camera around an entire wall of scaffolding while keeping your feet from wandering past the velvet ropes, makes it difficult to fully appreciate the Parthenon in its intended glory. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like listening to every other word of a great speech. Or going to a baseball game that only plays two innings.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The Arch, the Acropolis, and the Museum, touristy though they may be, are well worth the trip to Athens. They do require a full day’s efforts, though. But as I rested my head in the back of a suspiciously creaky Greek taxi, listening to Lady GaGa’s “Judas” drift back to me from the radio, I found that our trip to Athens had been well worth it. Although apparently we just missed Hilary Clinton speaking at the Acropolis Museum. What the hell are you doing in Greece, Hilary? Their economy is worse than ours. Jeez.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">SPEAKING OF the Greek economy, allow me a moment to enlighten you on the subject. I have no clue if word has reached the States or not, but it’s all anyone can talk about on this continent; the Greek economy is at an all time low. Some forty percent of the Greek people are unemployed, and the government is being accused of all sorts of corruption. The Greek people have spent the last several months rioting, protesting, and striking in order to get the government’s attention. Since members of the European Union have been hesitant to help Greece because of the severity of the situation, all hope of climbing out of this despair rests on the Greek Parliament. The citizens of Greece have felt ignored by Parliament, however, and the tension was mounting to a peak during the five days our little floating campus spent there. And we certainly felt the effects of the economic crisis first hand.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">On Monday, our second day in Greece, the taxi companies organized a three day strike. To make their statement bolder, they proceeded to block in all of the buses the night before, effectively eliminating two major forms of transportation. As luck would have it (for them, not us) the metro system was down. There is still some confusion amongst the shipboard community as to whether or not the metro workers were striking, or if there were construction issues. Either way, it was day two in Athens and there was no way to get into, out of, or around all the major sites. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Option B: the Greek islands. We were all going to do it up Mamma Mia style. Yeah, that worked out real well. My plan was to head to Mykonos and stay there for two days, then head back for my SAS sponsored trip to Olympia. One of my friends agreed to accompany me, but she was reluctant to take the early ferry on Monday morning, so I agreed to wait. Little did I know, the only other ferry running to Mykonos that day was at 5:45 pm. It takes four to five hours to get from Athens to Mykonos. So I twiddled my fingers for a day and schlepped through the giant port in Piraeus until I found the minuscule booth where I could purchase the ridiculously expensive one way ticket to the island.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">So, right on schedule, we arrive at Mykonos around 10:00 pm, and that’s when it becomes public knowledge that oh hey, we don’t have hotel reservations. Fortunately for us, a swarm of pesky hostel owners waving Xeroxed pictures of their accommodations pasted on colored paper, descended upon us. Great! We can trust our lives to a total stranger, get cozy in the back of their trucks, and maybe donate an organ or two if we’re lucky. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">One woman emerged as being semi-presentable and not quite as shifty as the “hotel manager” who kept looking over his shoulder when the port police walked by. This woman assured my friend and I that she could provide us with a room that had a gorgeous view of the island, was close to town, and would be exactly what we paid for. Well, off we went. But not before picking up a pale, lanky Belgian couple that constantly kept their hands intertwined to accompany us. Oh how I love making new friends.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The first sign that this woman was lying came when she turned out of the port and started driving in the opposite direction of town. But I gave her the benefit of the doubt because, in her defense, there are technically two small towns on each side of Mykonos, so I just assumed we would be headed towards the other side. Well, we ended up at neither side. Her “hotel” was really just her house, smack dab in the middle of the island. I couldn’t even see downtown Mykonos from the balcony. The only other person we encountered as we jerked our way up the dirt road to her cottage was an old woman walking down the slope barefoot and carrying an empty grocery bag. And the island had just experienced a total black out. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Where the hell was I?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">It might have ended up being an exciting adventure, and something to laugh about later, if it weren’t for all of the logistical problems that arose. For one thing, if we went into town to go out at night, how the hell were we going to get back? There are less than thirty taxis that patrol the entire island of Mykonos, and most will not take you anywhere unless you have a full party. This did not bode well for our dynamic duo situation. We attempted to get in touch with a friend of ours who had offered to let us crash in their hotel room prior to Greece, but the reception on the Skype call didn’t go through, and my phone refused to send a text message, so that was a bust and a half.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Eventually we sucked it up and asked if the woman would not mind if we stayed somewhere else. She was kind enough to return us to the port, where we could catch the bus. Enter unsettling and jaunting revelation number two: we did not have enough Euros for the bus. And how far is the port from the town, you ask? Why, it’s a forty minute walk, my dears. How do I know this? Because I walked it.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">In retrospect, walking into town was an idiotic move on my part. At this point, it was close to midnight, if not already past, and all of the hostels, motels, and hotels were booked for the evening. People kept telling us that reservations for the evening were always taken in the morning. SHOCKING. If only we had taken the morning ferry…</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">After the hotel quest proved fruitless, we hit the ATM and got in line for the taxi service. Sucking it up and returning to the woman’s house was better than nothing, right? After we begged her to let us stay the night, we could organize a new plan of action in the morning, hopefully find our friends, and get this Mykonos trip back to a functional level. But! (que drum roll) unsettling and jaunting revelation number three stole the show! I had to be back for my trip to Olympia on Wednesday morning, which meant we would have to leave Mykonos tomorrow (meaning Tuesday) afternoon so that I could get back. AWESOME.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">An hour and a half later we secured a taxi (out of nowhere, the Belgian couple showed up and shared it with us) and returned to the woman’s house. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Belgian couple snaked up to their room the minute we got dropped off, and my friend and I swallowed our pride and started knocking on the darkened door of what we were sure was our hostess’s room. No answer. We tried another door. No answer. We called her from the number she provided. No answer. We called her cell. No answer. We didn’t even hearing ringing from inside the house. You could imagine how I must have been beaming with joy at this moment, right?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The only thing left to do was to walk back into town and pray that we could find somewhere with a spare room. As we took the walk back into Mykonos I kept thinking that all we needed was a donkey and then our own little Christmas pageant would be complete. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">But I guess that story can only happen once in the course of history, because we did not end up staying in a stable that night. Around three in the morning (or perhaps it was closer to four) we wandered into a hotel lobby and practically collapsed at the front desk as we pleaded for a room. Zeus was feeling grateful, and something was available. I looked at my friend with what I imagined were bloodshot eyes and she looked right into them and said “I’m not comfortable paying for half of this room.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Explosion. Credit card. Bill. Key. Shower. Bed. Out.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">~</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Things always appear better in the morning. So they say. I call bullshit. If anything, things appear much, much worse in the morning. “Oh my God, why did I do that?” “What the hell was I thinking?” “Did that honestly happen? Ugh.” </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">In order to keep up the continuity of all events on Mykonos, we slept through checkout. Naturally, right? The angels had entered our story, however, because the staff didn’t charge us extra, and they kept breakfast waiting. I would imagine it was out of pity rather than hospitality, but I’ve never had a better plate of scrambled eggs in my life. We returned to Athens on the two o’clock ferry and declared that we would put this episode behind us and salvage whatever we could of Greece. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">That plan did not match up with the Greek’s plan however. Because the strikes continued, and this time the ferries joined the ranks. Uh. Oh. No buses, no taxis, no metro, no ferries. No will to continue on in Greece. No trip. And at some point in there I got sick and threw up for two hours in our closet-bathroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But at that point, it was practically expected. I recall having a moment, in between hurls, where I thought “Oh, right, this <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">is</i> what happens at this point.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I will say this for Greece: I applaud it for having an English speaking theater that allowed me to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 and successfully complete my childhood. I could spend an entire post paying homage to the series and how it has affected my life and holds the specialist, most sincerest (words?) part of my heart and how I laughed and cried and clapped and hugged it all out during the credits, but I won’t bore anyone with such nonsense. Just this: Harry Potter may be over, but it will never end.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">By the grace of God, Greece, on the other hand, did end. When I have enough distance from the country and from the experience, I will probably look back and laugh at everything that happened. Until then, Greece can keep its beheaded statues and gun-wielding protesters, its striking transportation workers and creepy hostel matrons, and its unfriendly people and rude shop owners (be forewarned, Greeks HATE Americans). </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Though I have no desire to think or speak of Greece for the next several months, I can’t help but wonder how it would have gone if I did not have any expectations for it. Greece was “Greece,” you know? I feel that I could not help but form expectations on that silly little notion alone. But, if I have learned anything since December of last year, it’s that I must stop having expectations, because inevitably, I shall end up disappointed. I can’t expect to visit seven countries in a row and enjoy all of them, because each place is completely different than the last. I can’t expect those I care about at home to fully understand how much this experience means to me, because they are not me. Likewise, I can’t expect my friends here on the ship to fully understand why I do not want to return home in August, because they didn’t know me in December and February and, luckily, in March. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">There are all sorts of horrible expectations out there that we all fall prey to, these giant Greeces that we assume will turn out exactly how we envision them. But the sad truth of the matter is, the more you expect, the more you stand to lose. You can’t expect me to relay every detail of this summer to you, because how could I? I can’t expect you want to know every detail of this summer, because how could you? </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">You can’t expect a voyage to heal all the hurt that you carry, because in reality it’s “out of sight, out of mind” coming into play, and nothing more. You can’t expect the man who once treated you with respect to always do so, because you are more easily replaced than you thought. You can’t expect those around you to fulfill the promises they once made, because even deans are capable of lying. You can’t expect people to sympathize with your disappointment, because it’s your own damn fault you didn’t make the best of the situation. You can’t expect to truly escape, because man has placed the world in his pocket, and there is no where left to run.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">You can’t expect to look in the mirror and smile, when it’s all you can do to look at all.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
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</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><i>“As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world—that is the myth of the atomic age—as in being able to remake ourselves”—Gandhi </i></div>Craiggorshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14071667685055656973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904711455920965833.post-4717829161856505202011-07-17T08:43:00.000-07:002011-07-17T08:43:50.243-07:00Passing Through Enchantment<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Once Upon a Time…they said there existed a Garden that was meant to be the picture of earthly perfection. They said that man has been forever banished from this Garden, and that searching for it, assuming it really existed, is a fool’s errand. I say, stop wasting time looking and schedule immediate plans to visit Croatia. There, in the gentle fortress that is Dubrovnik, you will find Paradise.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">For as deeply as my heart has become tied to Dubrovnik, my time in Croatia did not begin there, aside from the obvious fact that we were docked in their port. On our first day there, I was quickly whisked away to a small Croatian village, hidden in the mountains of the country’s rocky coast. There, we were greeted by a local couple who invited us into their home for food, drink, and traditional folk dancing. After taking a customary shot of brandy, and sipping a tall glass of homemade red wine, I sat down under a canopy of grape vines to watch the man charmingly wave his arm across a fiddle-like instrument while our hostess gracefully slid into an accompanying one-two step. By the time I was down to the dregs of the wine, we were all moving about in a friendly circle of limbs, attempting to master the simple yet elusive pattern.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Home (to the ship that is) by dinner, it was time to venture into Dubrovnik, or, as the locals refer to it, the Old City. Shower, shave, phone tag, GO! Ah, but wait. Despite its desire to, Croatia is not part of the Eurozone. This throws all of us off, as now we must discover the new exchange rate between the dollar and the Kuna, Croatian currency. It turns out the Kuna is worth 5.18 American dollars. No wonder the Croats are switching to the Euro next year. We swoop down on the nearest ATM, fill our pockets with pictures of Croat legendaries, and squeeze onto the bus.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">It grinds up a deserted hill to roar to a stop that surprises us. Why isn’t it bustling with throngs of off -white spectators in I Heart Croatia t-shirts? They are nowhere to be seen. Instead, harmonious Croat tongue bounces around the empty space. But we know that we are in the right place. Ahead lies the towering stone gateway, and, a bit thrown off, we drift through. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The minute we pass under the drawbridge and down the giant marble steps, into the actual city itself, delighted voices and melodic chirping greet our ears, the sweet salt of the sea tangs our noses, and our eyes swim in a million different directions. Some of us take in the pristine cobblestone streets, polished and glimmering in the orange afterglow of the evening. Some of us become absorbed in the colorful embrace of all the knotted vines and bursting flowers. Marigold, primrose, smiling violet. Still some of us are drawn to the enormous rotund fountain in the square to our right, where children take turns squirting each other from the running spouts, couples lazily share a water bottle, and a wrinkled man sits and plays the harmonica—a screechy, off key, rich sound. Grateful listeners drop Kuna into a spotted hat and we silently stare at one another. There is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">no </i>way this is real.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">And yet, we discover, it is. This is no façade. It’s not a tourist trap, a front, or a scam. It’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">actually </i>Dubrovnik. There is movement and interaction all along the main street. Relaxed wanderers flow into the side avenues, and despite the activity, there is very little noise. That’s when it occurs to me that I don’t think I was ever in a city where I wasn’t worrying about getting mauled by a car. They are not permitted inside the walls that constitute the Old City of Dubrovnik, which is the vast majority of the city. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">As we meander, we pick up pieces of conversations here and there, eventually determining that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">hvala </i>means <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">thank you. </i>Tiny bookstores, cramped boutiques, and small bars are all buzzing with friendly greetings and cheerful goodbyes. The churches that rival St. Peter’s intermix with the tall apartment buildings decorated with clotheslines and old glass bottles. The restaurants and bars sit side by side with the brick cottages and family run knick knack shops. Such beautiful pearls. Dubrovnik, the Pearl of the Adriatic, they say.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Further along, the air gets crisper and whispers as it guides us to the nightclubs and beach bars. Walking by the rocky cliffs, we begin to hear intermittent screams from below that overpower the crash of the waves. First comes the chant, “One, two…THREE!” then the yelp, the distant splash, and the crowd roars. Several bars, all in a row, allow you to sit and enjoy cocktails on a veranda, and then strut right up to the cliffs they are perched on, and jump. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">This is Dubrovnik. But the beauty extends well beyond the ancient stone wall. The manmade splendor of the city is a reflection of the natural magnificence of the Croatian landscape. Royal blue is a cheap imitation of the peaceful water; forest green a desperate attempt to imitate the tall pines on the Croatian mountains. A cloud never touched the sky here, and the sun embraced us all. The flowers that grew on the hillside weaved their way down to the city and slithered up through every crack and crevice they could find, draping the old wall in a mossy green overcoat. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Italy may have held restorative powers, but Croatia is the epicenter of all relaxation. The experiences described above, which happened during out first day in port, continued throughout our entire time in the Slavic nation. It was impossible not to be at peace with yourself, those around you, and any situation you encountered. We just missed the proper bus at 3:30 in the morning? So what! Let’s listen to that band across the street playing Croatian melodies. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Dubrovnik was safe, entertaining, manageable, and calming. It was inspiring to travel and learn about a place that bears such a sad and brutal history, but has come out strong and revitalized, maintaining its cultural roots and ethereal beauty throughout all of the recent struggles. It’s hard to imagine any sort of violence happening in the quiet countryside of Croatia when you are kayaking around the harbor, taking in the beaches and the giant rocks and waving to people as they hang out their laundry. Everyone seems so at peace. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I don’t know why more people don’t talk about Croatia. It’s a place with a fantastic culture, friendly people, and an inspiring story. The turmoil and devastation of the early 1990’s is still in the minds of the Croat people, yes; but they have turned their pain into something magnificent and built their country into what they have always wanted it to be. For me, this speaks volumes. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I have begun what I have found to be a rather difficult healing process, but a healing process none the less. From what? That’s another post entirely. Everyone has a person or persons who inspires them, but I have found from my time in Croatia that I am inspired by an entire nation. Or at least, this nation’s story. Again, my love of stories has found its way into a post, but I cannot emphasize how important the telling of stories is to our existence. There is a reason the It Gets Better project is compiled of hundreds and thousands of videos and short stories, and not just one single inspirational speech or video. Stories entertain, inspire, challenge, and, perhaps the most important, revive. A good story can rebuild anything: confidence, hope, a broken heart. Croatia tells a very good story. Try it sometime, if you don’t believe me. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Croatia is a fairy tale come to life, hidden away on the coast of the Adriatic Sea. When you arrive there, you become part of the tale—you experience new adventures, strange yet alluring concoctions, magical lands, quirky characters, and, if you do it right, your own happy ending. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I can’t say that I lived happily ever after, but I certainly left happily ever after. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
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</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><i>“Break a vase, and the love that reassembles the fragments is stronger than the love which took its symmetry for granted when it was whole”—Derek Walcott </i></div>Craiggorshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14071667685055656973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904711455920965833.post-17091141569487398112011-07-10T16:36:00.000-07:002011-07-10T16:36:38.861-07:00Conscience Calmed<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">How brief I wish to make this blog about Italy. Everything you have heard about Italy is true, truer than you can imagine. Italy is a breathing Narnia, and it should be experienced and embraced, not written about with such mediocre description. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But my gut is kicking at me with a steady pounding, forcing me to produce something, since I myself loved reading about Italy before actually touching my toes to it.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">If you know your history, you will know that once the European elite began to travel for pleasure and for education, sometimes for months at a time—the so called “Grand Tour” of Queen Elizabeth I’s reign—Italy gained a reputation as a land with healing properties. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some attributed it to the climate, others to the culture, and almost everyone agreed that the secret medicine was, in fact, the food. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am inclined to combine them all, for Italy slowly but surely changes you, without your own conscious knowledge, from the second you arrive to the moment you wave goodbye to the fading Tuscan coast on the horizon.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I should make clear that there is one exception to the grandeur of Italy. As every family has a black sheep, so Italy has a black town: the city of Naples. Six years ago, when I came to Italy for the first time, our tour group did not make it to Naples; if only I could have said the same for this voyage. Naples is like the Detroit of Italy. It’s just no longer necessary.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The morning when we arrived in Naples, I looked out the window in my cabin to see shoestrings, an empty McDonald’s cup, clumps of hair, and gum lapping up against the side of our ship. And we weren’t even docked that close to the shoreline. It’s hard to tell where water and land meet in Naples, because trash covers the surface of everything. My advice to anyone who finds themselves in Naples in the near future is to look up, and never look down. There are some intricate architectural pieces and places to check out, but almost all the other monuments are wearing coats of graffiti. I have to say, when you are trying to immerse yourself in Italian culture or mentally wonder back to the days of the Romans, seeing “FUCK” spray painted on castle walls and across stone generals’ faces, the ambiance is effectively ruined.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Don’t blame the people of Naples though, at least not the majority of them. It’s not like they wake up every morning and say “Hey, I think I’ll take a shit in the old palace courtyard today,” or anything like that. The city is suffering a legitimate trash crisis and, as cliché as it might sound, it’s all because of the Mafia. All kidding aside, the Mafia’s presence is very real in Italy. And very far reaching. As part of our pre-port for Naples, when we were being briefed on the politics of the city, we were told that members of the Mafia had gained so much power in Naples that they controlled all of the trash collection businesses, and were withholding cleanup efforts in order to create chaos in the city, for organized crime thrives under chaotic circumstances. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">You think Triple A Travel will hire me after all that? I can really sell a city, huh? </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I will say that it is worth it to put up with all the grime and soot for a couple days, because Naples is the gateway to the stunning volcano Mount Vesuvius, as well as the nearest city to the arcane ruins of Pompeii, in the shadows of the mountain. I didn’t make it out to Pompeii this time around, as I spent an entire day there on my last trek around Italy, but it is an incredibly captivating site even if you are not all that interested in history. You can literally see the food on the table that people were preparing when the city was destroyed, but simultaneously preserved, in the eruption of 79 AD. You can pet the mold of the dog that just couldn’t bite through his chain when the lava hit, and walk through the doors thousands of people found blocked by ash and fire all those centuries ago. It’s also one of the only places I know where a bunch of people can get together in a room and look at pornography without violating some sort of social taboo.* So, you know, if you’re into that kind of group stuff..</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">This time around, I towered over Pompeii rather than walked through its sustained streets.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Climbing Mount Vesuvius was by far the most physically exhilarating experience of my life thus far. I had never scaled a mountain before (I can barely manage the uphill walk from Meadville to Allegheny’s campus) and didn’t really know how I was going to somehow finagle my way up to the crater. Good thing I live in 2011 and buses exist. Ok, yeah, we cheated for the first 3000 feet, but after that they practically dump you until a pile of ash, hand you a ticket for the gate, and wave goodbye as you stare up at the last one thousand feet like a mute.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Needless to say, I made it. By myself. On my own. Me. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">When you reach the top they offer to stamp a piece of paper or a postcard to prove that you made it (in case everyone at home doesn’t believe in pictures or something) and there is a small stand where some residents of a nearby town have fashioned different artifacts from the ash of Vesuvius. Other than that, you are free to wander the rim of the crater and take in the view. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I’m not sure where the calming feeling comes from, when I am up high, but it absolutely smothered me at the top of that mountain. All of my senses suddenly changed, as if they were adapting to the shift in atmosphere. Looking out at the Amalfi coast, I didn’t hear the labored breathing of those behind me who thumped up the last few steps; instead I heard the leaves scratching against each other on the trees that sprouted between the crags. I didn’t feel the beads of sweat racing each other down my sideburns; I felt the tickle of the ashy ground on my feet. I didn’t see people suckling their water bottles; I saw black snowflakes clinging delicately to my arm hair. I didn’t taste the desert on my tongue; instead I tasted the sweet spice of Vesuvian air. I didn’t smell dirt and dried blood; I smelled rock, wet from the mist of the fog that weaved in and out around the mountain’s peak. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">My heart responded to this moment, there at the top of one of the four most dangerous volcanoes in the world. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt the thumping in my chest slow to a gentle pulse, the blood in my veins glide slow instead of run fast. And no, it wasn’t because of the change in altitude. It was because I was standing on the edge of an active volcano. That I had climbed. Alone. Without assistance. It was because that moment, up there, was mine.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Not to sound unpatriotic or anything, but that was the most emotional Fourth of July I’ve ever had. No question.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">~</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">By that evening, I was watching the mighty Vesuvius shrink into a mole hill as we sailed for Civitavecchia, the port city that shuttled us to Rome. I began thinking how I had a new understanding for why Italy bears this reputation of being a medicinal nation, and how I had been so afraid that perhaps, in short of all my grand expectations, this voyage would not heal me. The wounds, both inner and outer, would not mend. I had reassured myself, not to mention those I left behind at home, that this was it: after these few months I would be my old self again. Taller than bigotry. Stronger than ignorance. Wiser than harassment. But it wasn’t happening. There was progress, yes; moments I moved forward, absolutely, but there was no major shift in my mental state all throughout the Atlantic crossing, and my time in Spain. Not until the (literal) mountaintop experience at Vesuvius. Oh how I detest that I am now a cliché. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">But yes, that was when my fear began to subside. Or, rather, to change. Into something different. Into hope. Fear and hope are not so different at their cores. “Twin Destinies” the poet Shelley calls them. They are your feelings and emotions about the future; how you perceive what is still to come. One can fret and distress over the potentially difficult hardships on the horizon, or one can adopt a more optimistic sense of looking forward to both the rewards and challenges of living. For so long I had been living in fear, I saw no convincing evidence to think otherwise, but I could feel the tides turning inside me as I watched Naples disappear and turned my gaze forward, to the Eternal City.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Sure enough, my “Aha” moment did arrive in Rome. Though not, I must say, in a clichéd or overused location this time. One might expect profound moments of inner discovery and self-reflection to occur at grandiose Roman destinations like...the Vatican. If you are one of those people, you have clearly never been to the Vatican.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I have now, being lucky enough to have explored Italy twice since I was fourteen, been to the Vatican two times as well. I have no desire to see if three times is the charm for the center of the Catholicism. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When you enter the Vatican, you literally become a sheep in the largest, sweatiest, loudest, most irritating flock this side of the Atlantic. The Pope himself could not shepherd this mass into obedience, and he wasn’t even there. It was too hot for him, so he peaced to his summer home. Which is also in Italy…….Catholic logic. I love it.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">To begin with, there are so many damn rooms in the Vatican museum, with artifacts and statues and paintings and busts and a whole mess of saintly crap all piled on top of each other, that it would take something like twenty-five years to look at everything for five seconds each. We were fortunate if we got to stand in one place for three. You get herded from chamber to chamber by the crankiest security guards (national police perhaps in this case?) that I have ever met. Judging by their looks I think we woke them up from nap time when we arrived. Anyway, they are constantly glaring at you and patting the firearms at their sides so you won’t forget their divine right to shoot you full of holes if you touch the altar you were only supposed to take a picture of, or take a picture of the fountain you were only supposed to touch.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Not that you have time to get your bearings and figure out what you are and are not allowed to touch in each section. This is due to the fact that once you enter the Vatican museum you instantly find yourself in the natural habitat of the infamous tourist. A people of pale skin, occasionally identifiable by multiple layers of caked on sun screen, the tourist <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">will</i> make its way towards you. Unlike other creatures, if you don’t bother it, it <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">will</i> bother you. Generally this occurs when the tourist makes use of its hands; one is used to swing a camera on a string around their neck back and forth, and the other gesticulates, waves, points, and flaps about in attempted communication with the stoic shepherd-guards. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">At the Vatican, the tourist tend to travel in packs. This we understand because they don jewel-colored shirts emblazoned with certain descriptions of their pack, like the name of their troupe or “Family Reunion 2011.” This is as much for their own identification, as well as for outsiders. The more well off packs utilize walkie talkies, but the majority rely on their exceptionally loud vocal chords. While in the Vatican, tourists can be spotted anywhere, but you might try finding them getting impatient in lines, creating traffic jams to take pictures of that thing they saw in a book once, or otherwise walking very quickly in a space where such movement is disruptive to all present. An interesting phenomenon occurs when they pass dilapidated statues and half-completed sculptures: It must be something important—let’s take a picture! Say cheese, oh, I mean ‘formaggio.’ Tourists are always happy to use of the many Italian phrases they have picked up along the way. As they clutch their belongings into their cleavage, wary of the pickpocket (the tourist’s natural enemy) they can often be heard saying “When in Rome…” without finishing the sentence. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Have I expressed myself clearly? Very good. Moving on.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I finally understood that I was beginning to heal from the pain in my heart while sitting in a dusty, cramped library during my last afternoon in Rome. I spent it on a small trip with a friend and one of my teacher’s at the Keats-Shelley House, next to the Spanish Steps. Only an out and proud English nerd such as myself could appreciate the momentous privilege of walking where Keats walked, hearing his story in the very rooms it unfolded in, reading the poems under the roof he composed them, and visiting the quiet corner of the world where he now rests. I won’t go into detail about the house or why it is significant, because very few people out there will care, but something during my time there woke me up. My brain shifted and fell in line with my heart, and I found myself believing, actually <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">believing</i>, that I could find peace on this voyage, and in my life. I had fallen prey to the spell of Italy. The healing has begun.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I could go on and on in this blog to help you understand the enchantment you fall under while staying in Italy. I could assure you that American ice cream is simply a cheap imitation of Italian gelato, and that no matter where pizza originated (Manhattan or Italy) nothing will ever taste better than an Italian <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">pizza margherita. </i>I could express my firm belief that no matter where you travel in the United States, the Italian countryside will trump even our best efforts at natural loveliness. But that would be a disgrace to Italy, because I don’t have the word prowess to accomplish such a task. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">So that really only leaves you one choice: make your way to Italy. Even if you don’t feel as though you need to be healed, I guarantee that no matter what you do, you feel leave feeling tranquil. Serene. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Weightless. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">*To elaborate, there is a room in the ruins of Pompeii covered with stone penises and frescoes of erotic images. Apparently, displaying a penis in the home or a public building was a sign of good luck. Take that as you will.</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><i>“The use of traveling is to regulate imagination by reality, and instead of thinking how things may be, to see them as they are” –Samuel Johnson</i></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5wzdVB-8pzvniKidsWnUn4BLSA0PgrCgHraqBB5F7vWvlVouPC1GNwrF1HlZwICoBu_aK0v1HdC7TJlf_wTsFEtrTxz6k1xMz6WY0OJEMLE_5huwhAcZ7oeiky-Qdq7E5O4ieLAZ8Dt3T/s1600/DSCF3105.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5wzdVB-8pzvniKidsWnUn4BLSA0PgrCgHraqBB5F7vWvlVouPC1GNwrF1HlZwICoBu_aK0v1HdC7TJlf_wTsFEtrTxz6k1xMz6WY0OJEMLE_5huwhAcZ7oeiky-Qdq7E5O4ieLAZ8Dt3T/s320/DSCF3105.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><i> </i></div>Craiggorshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14071667685055656973noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904711455920965833.post-65317950313115896062011-07-04T08:52:00.000-07:002011-07-04T08:52:50.276-07:00Spanish Sights<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Every day, one of the channels on the closed circuit TV’s in our cabins runs a list of names. They flash by, one by one, under a bright pink line of text: “Happy Birthday!” Each name is accompanied by a picture. When I first noticed this, I thought, “Oh great, we have our very own stalker channel. You really do think of everything, Semester at Sea.” Then I realized, somewhat begrudgingly, that it’s rather a sweet concept: look at these people so you know who to recognize today when you see them around. No one really knows anyone here, not like we know our friends at home, and I imagine it would be a little sad to spend a birthday among strangers. Having an early September birthday myself, I remember quite well how lonely I felt at Allegheny freshman year when I could count the number of people, on campus, who told me “Happy Birthday” on one hand. So I started making an effort to memorize the faces and prepare myself should I run into anyone celebrating a birthday on the ship. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">As I sat there every morning, watching one face silently fade into another, my mind started throwing all sorts of questions at me. How old do you think this person is? What do you think they normally do for their birthday? What if they don’t want to acknowledge their birthday? Where do you think this person is from? Is that their natural hair color? What if I creep them out by saying “Happy Birthday”? Where do they live on the ship? What classes do I think they are taking? Do I think they are enjoying this experience? Are they a nice person? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who is this person, really? What is their story?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Unfortunately, a TV screen can’t answer all of those questions. All it can do is provide a face and a fact. Maybe that’s why we have Facebook, the resource that provides a face with multiple facts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps the reason everyone has a Facebook isn’t actually to creep on everyone else, but a way to be seen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Creating a Facebook page is like saying “Notice me. Look at me. See me.” But even then, Facebook is just facts—it’s Factbook. It’s not someone’s story. Not their real story. I’m interested in stories. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">And I found some in Barcelona. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">If you didn’t know, like I didn’t know, Barcelona is a massive city. As the second largest city in Spain, some three million people call it home, Barcelona is a city of mixture. Different kinds of people, architecture, entertainment, and food are all fighting for attention here on Spain’s east coast. It provides for a great first port, because there is so much to do and to see that, if you want, you’ll never have time to sit down. This is how I spent my first day in Spain.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">After a painstaking thirty minutes of listening to a U.S. diplomat give us the latest news on Spain’s economic protests and safety precautions, a few of my friends and I burst through the ship doors, out onto the gangway, and right into Barcelona. Or so we thought. Turns out our port wasn’t as close to the city as some administrators had led us to believe. “Oh yeah, we got the closest berth available. You’ll be right there! Just walk off the ship and right into Spanish culture! Five minutes, max.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ok, how do <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">you </i>define five minutes? Because apparently the top dogs at SAS define it as a twenty-five minute expedition across an enormous drawbridge, through the fish mongering/shady car stripping district of downtown Barcelona, traversing six lanes of psychotic European traffic, and across the parking lot of a questionable independent airport. I think what they meant to tell us was that we had “the closest berth available…if you wanted to get shanked and strung up like a catfish at the market.” </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Really though, Barcelona is a decently safe city. The only problem, as we were warned more times than Kate Gosselin says “I’m not a bad mom”, are the pickpockets. They’re quite abundant, like the Gosselin children. Luckily, you can always spot them, warn your friends about them, and awkwardly manage to avoid them, also like the Gosselin children. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The only place you have to worry about the pickpockets are on Las Ramblas, the heart of Barcelona. From this mile long avenue and marketplace, various other alleys and side streets twist and turn out into the city. This makes it a convenient meeting place with your friends, but also requires you to keep your hands in your pockets at all times, in order to prevent other people’s hands from finding their way in there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Las Ramblas is where I spent my first morning in Spain, just wondering about, looking at all sorts of different art stands, souvenir shops, cafes, etc. It was a rushed morning, since I had to return to the ship at one o’clock for an SAS sponsored city orientation. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Said city orientation allowed me to see all of the major sites of Barcelona in four short hours. We went from the breezy mountains above the city, where I got some great panoramic pictures, all the way down to a small Spanish village on the outskirts of the city. Here was the Spain I wanted to see: crumbling buildings, still beautiful in their own right, ancient monuments, and people working at age old crafts on the side of the cobblestone roads. We were given an hour to roam about here, before having to meet at the wrought iron village gates. Somehow, the Spanish breeze carried me into a tiny, glass-blowing shop. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Inside, transparent sea creatures, flora, and Catholic icons sat on plaster shelves from floor to ceiling. A woman wearing a rust colored robe behind the counter greeted me with a semi-toothless smile and gestured with her hands to a small archway behind the counter. Like the idiotic American I am, I stared at her and smiled back, teeth against no teeth, and didn’t move. She laughed at me and ushered me through the tiny door into the back room. “Si, si” she kept telling me. Or was it “see, see”? </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Three men were hard at work in what looked like the bakery of Hell. Four tiny, black igloos lined the back wall. I couldn’t tell you what was inside, because the heat and the bright orange light prevented me from looking directly at them. Each of the men wore goggles, long dark pants, and a vest. Their hands and feet were bare. They carried long poles back and forth across the room. I fixated on the oldest one, who resembled a wizard when he grabbed the nearest charred pole, and stalked over to one of the ovens. He was encased in light for a brief moment, and then was striding over to a sit at a stool next to a metal workbench. The end of his stick was now glistening with a perfectly circular, clear orb with streaks of orange and white inside. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Next, he began manhandling the orb, with what can only be described as a pair of giant metal chop sticks, shaping the orb into some sort of amorphous blob. Taking one end between the sticks, he’d pull, and the material would stretch like glue, and the colors along with it. Then he’d stick the chop sticks in and swirl them around, and all of a sudden orange became yellow and pink became red. All the while he’s flipping the shape over and over with the stick. When one side began to droop, he’d twist it around and begin designing something else. Eventually, smiling to himself, he decided on a shape and a color scheme, and he pulled on the matter from four corners, formed a head, and then snapped the blob off of the pole with the chop sticks, adding one final touch after doing so. Then, he bent close and examined his creation, scanning it over with dark, Spanish eyes. He blew on it once, picked it up, and set it on the counter in front of me. With a small <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">clink</i>, I looked down at a miniature glass dog, colored blue and green in the middle. He nodded at me and I picked it up, and it relieved the sweat in my palm.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">When I walked back into the main room, the woman behind the counter nodded at me and asked “Si?” I couldn’t help but smile. “Yes,” I told her. “I see.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The dog has since been put down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was showing it to some friends later that evening and a girl who is NOT my friend decided she wanted to see it and make puppy noises so that we could all become educated on what a dog sounds like. Mrs. Doolittle here ended up dropping it over the side of the ship and my little mini-Shadow is now somewhere in Barcelona bay. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I don’t have proof to accompany my story, but you’ll just have to take my word for it.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I actually don’t have proof of a lot of that first day in Barcelona, because my camera decided to break. Naturally. The only reason I got out of bed for the past several months was the thought of going on this voyage, so why should the universe let my camera work? See, I’m a giant cosmic joke, so I’ve learned to expect these things, which is a good defense. Luckily, I managed to get all the pictures I wanted of the Sagrada Familia, the uncompleted Antoni Gaudi cathedral that Barcelona is famous for. Construction began over 120 years ago and there is still no end date in sight. The original plans are still being followed, despite Gaudi’s death in 1926, which I thought was equally as impressive as the intricate spires, towers, columns, and archways that already exist. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">It was right after that when my camera gave out completely, and so I didn’t get any pictures or videos of the Flamenco dinner show I attended that night. Not that they would have captured the dancers’ passion anyway. Like all good performers, the men and women who danced for us that evening lived for their craft. There was no sense of boredom between any of them, no looks of routine smeared on their faces. It was as if they were doing this in front of an audience for the first time. There were moments when I felt as though we were peeking in on something private. These people danced out their pain and their hurt and their joy on the stage that night and you could feel it flow like the elaborate costumes into the audience. They didn’t utter a single word from the beginning of the show to the end; they just let us watch. They let us see them.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I did end up finding a replacement camera the next day on Las Ramblas, but it got me wondering about what I would do if I, for some reason, couldn’t take pictures for the next two months. All I would be able to do is look. And commit images to memory. Which, in some ways, is better. I couldn’t take physical pictures of my favorite moments in Spain, just mental ones. Especially for what happened on our third day there.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">We were exploring Barcelona after having spent the previous day in the mountains at Montserrat. If you didn’t know, like I didn’t know, Montserrat is an ancient monastery built in the Pyrenees and home to one of three Black Madonna’s in Spain. It was quite the adventure getting there—we took the train and ended up getting off at the wrong town. Oops. It wasn’t my fault, I took French. I was just impressed that I managed to even get on the right route. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Anyway, we quickly realized that 1) we were in some Godforsaken Spanish town where no one spoke a lick of English and 2) we were starving. Solution: the point and grab system at a local café. It worked rather well. We just had to wag our fingers at whatever we saw that interested us behind the counter, the cashier would hold up fingers to communicate the number of Euros, and then the transaction was made. Simple. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All that was required was sight.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">After our quick brunch, we sat outside debating how much farther we had to go, what it would cost, if it was worth it, blah, blah, blah. I get pretty bored with logistical stuff like that, so my attention was easily captured by four Spanish children playing soccer in the park across the street. Cars drove past, adults walked through the game chatting away, and people on bikes circled the park without even looking in the direction of the kids. It appeared that I was the only one watching them kick the dented rubber ball back and forth. Now, my sister has played soccer practically since she could pronounce the word and I would bet good money these kids would crush her, and her entire team. (No offense to the Lady Lancers). </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The oldest boy ended up kicking the ball near the spot where we were perusing a map of eastern Spain; my guess is that he did it on purpose, as he had no real reason to otherwise. He came to retrieve the ball and asked my friend and I something in Spanish. True to our American selves, we smiled and nodded vigorously. Our impressions of bobble heads clearly entertained him, since he beckoned his friends over and the next thing I knew my friend and I were playing goalie for their little game. She managed to stop one ball; I decided to let them all score so as not to intimidate them with my mad athletic skills…</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">We didn’t play for very long though, as the others realized we were only one town over from Montserrat. I did my best to explain to the young soccer stars that we had to go (“Adios amigos”). When we started to walk away, the kids stopped smiling and laughing for the first time since they approached us. The younger boy muttered something in Spanish, to which the older boy snapped at him and walked off in the opposite direction. My friend and I paused, unsure of what to do or say in a situation like this. Language barriers can really be language fortresses sometimes. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">But fortresses can also be penetrated. While the two of us were debating on what to do, the smallest girl from the group ran up to my friend and gave her a hug. Then she quickly jumped over and squeezed my knees together in the same manner. Before I could finish blinking she had let go and stood there, now at a safe distance again, just looking into my eyes. In that moment I contemplated not going to Montserrat. Playing soccer all day didn’t seem that horrible. Unfortunately, I’d have to travel back alone, and that’s a big NO-NO with Semester at Sea. That and bringing sand on the ship. (WTF is that about?)</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">My friends kept shouting for me—we were going to miss the train to the proper town. My chest really started to ache in that moment, and I could not for the life of me break contact with those tiny, hazel eyes. Fortunately, she was the stronger one. She <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>smiled and held up her hand and shook it furiously in her best American goodbye. I held mine up in response and rejoined my friends.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I’ve never been more thankful for sunglasses.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">~</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Sorry for the digression. Or rather, the length of the digression. The day after Montserrat, our third day in Barcelona, we explored as much of the city as we could. We covered everything from the marketplace to the Gothic quarter to the neighborhoods we were warned to avoid, to the beach. At one point we got intentionally lost, just for the thrill of it. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">While we were wandering, down no particularly exciting street, a woman stopped me. She wasn’t selling anything, she wasn’t part of a scheme to snatch my wallet, she was just a middle aged Spanish woman sitting in a doorway watching the people go by. It wasn’t so much her hand on my shoulder that made me pause, but the clank of her bracelets so close to my ear. Each of my friends had already passed by her and were checking out an ice cream shop, so I gave my attention to the woman.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">With a heavy Catalan accent, she told me “You are very sad.” There are instances, I have learned, when silence is your best strategy. This was one of them. Plus, I don’t think she was looking for a response. She brought the dangling bracelets to the left side of her chest. “In here. You hurt.” All I could really do was swallow. Then she took my hand, though I was so shaky I almost didn’t feel it. “You, no deserve. I see it. And, I sorry.” One of my friends, a self-proclaimed Spanish conquistador practically, had noticed she was talking to me, and I could see out of the corner of my eye that he was preparing to intervene, just as soon as he purchased his Magnum ice cream bar. Before he got the chance, the woman went back to the doorway of her home, plucked a leaf off the vine that grew on the wall, and came back, pressing it into my<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>hand. I had time to notice that the leaf resembled a very familiar shape before this matron told me “You have special heart. Look, see. Nature remind you.” She was inside by the time my friend was at my side.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">A lot of what happened in Spain is unbelievable to the point where I’m almost certain I dreamed parts of it, or exaggerated certain details. But as soon as I could, after each event, I wrote down everything I could remember in my journal, and I’m drawing from that right now. I can see it there on the page, so it must be true. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">You can learn a lot about someone just from observing them in person. No Facebook, no Interests, no Favorite Music, Movies, or TV Shows. Just see them. Notice them. It’s all anyone really wants, no matter where you go. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Because of my absence of pictures from Spain, I feel as though a lot of people are going to ask me “SO, what did you do? What did you see?!” when I get back. I could respond, “The Sagrada Familia, Las Ramblas, Gaudi’s House, an ice bar.” Or I could respond, “Passion, history, dedication, kindness, innocence, loneliness, perception, generosity.” I think the best response to that question, though, would be “People. I saw people.” Which I imagine would be followed by “And???” </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">And… they saw me too.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><i>“Travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living”—Miriam Beard</i></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAw3U_ODgaTC7n5tX93mj1QKixEiFhx6yJ7M4fwZK6Qp94PCi930htTSI1qm7TClmqH4b_fPmFHredzcsjgUlaw0zsaf6KSjZtLaxi2Y8-Z0J55IzDvIvpZvZU9WGuURP_rVzSXp6xRmsb/s1600/DSCF3112.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAw3U_ODgaTC7n5tX93mj1QKixEiFhx6yJ7M4fwZK6Qp94PCi930htTSI1qm7TClmqH4b_fPmFHredzcsjgUlaw0zsaf6KSjZtLaxi2Y8-Z0J55IzDvIvpZvZU9WGuURP_rVzSXp6xRmsb/s320/DSCF3112.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Craiggorshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14071667685055656973noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904711455920965833.post-5128283459053653522011-06-26T14:54:00.000-07:002011-06-26T14:54:05.231-07:00What's the Word I'm Thinking Of?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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</style> <![endif]--> <div class="MsoNormal">The very first thing that happens once you step onto the MV Explorer is a hurried greeting from one of the oh-so-friendly faculty members: “Hi! Welcome to the ship! Can I see your ID? (Pause) Great! So you’re in cabin 4035 on deck 4, starboard side, why don’t you take these stairs up, and then head into midship. There’s a meeting in the Union after we embark, and until they you are free to wander about the ship. Just stay clear of the forward section.” Uh. Ok.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">They’re very big on terminology here, which is understandable. Since the captain and the crew speak a certain way, it’s a smart idea to let the rest of us know what the hell they’re talking about in case we pull a Titanic or something. So, if you happen to be a student on Semester at Sea, you will quickly learn that the front of the ship is called “forward”, the back is “aft”, and you can simply call the middle section “midship”; we don’t “leave” a port, we “embark,” and rather than “arriving” we “disembark.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course, left is port and right is starboard, all of the floors are officially “decks,” rooms are referred to as “cabins,” and likewise your roommate is your “cabinmate.” If you are lucky enough to get a window like me you’re to call it a “porthole.” But the biggest terminology rule EVER, the one rule you should really follow above all the others, is: we are on a SHIP, not a boat.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Neptune forbid you should refer to the MV Explorer as a boat. I think they would chuck you over the railing in six seconds flat and keep right on sailing (By the way, we “sail,” we don’t cruise). As they explained during a 12-hour orientation on the second day, boats go ON ships; ships do not go on boats. This does make sense, but it’s hard to switch your vocabulary. I heard a couple of girls complaining the other day about how strict the crew and faculty get about the whole ship thing. “Why does this matter? I’m on a boat biiiitches, hahaha.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, I think it’s equally hilarious to randomly start singing lines from “I’m on<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Boat” whenever I’m out on deck, but their comments did get me thinking about the importance of words, and the meaning behind them, something I’ve been very attuned to in recent months.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 48.75pt;">So for the past ten days, as I’ve been sailing across the Atlantic Ocean, I’ve struggled with words: speaking out in class after having been absent from the college environment for so long, figuring out how much to share with new friends, deciding what is essential enough to journal about, determining what is of interest to people at home for this blog, spitting out details and stories in e-mails, and of course working on how I want to define myself. What I am doing here? What <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">is</i> this? I keep hearing people refer to this experience as a “trip.” Ok, fair enough, I suppose it is. Other words floating around include “voyage,” “journey,” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and “adventure.” I would agree with all of those too. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 48.75pt;">So what does that make me? An adventurer? An explorer? A voyager? A tourist? Maybe you’re thinking “You’re all of them.” Well, not <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">exactly</i>. There are some subtle differences between those words, and those differences might not matter to most people--maybe they don’t matter to anyone--but they matter to me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think what we label ourselves is important, because there are people out there who will choose to label us according to their own views, and we can’t counter their assessment of us unless we actually have something to counter with.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 48.75pt;">Thus, I have been attempting to riddle out the label I want to use for myself in this story; the right words to carry the meaning of what I’m doing. It’s been a long process. And what have I been doing during this process? Well I’d be happy to inform you :)</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 48.75pt;">Life on the ship is like looking at a Picasso painting. You really don’t know what the heck is going on, but you know it’s important. The classes are demanding, but worth the effort once you put it in. Since I find one of my classes to be worthless, I clearly need to put in more effort. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everybody on the ship has to take Global Studies. EVERYBODY. That’s students, crew, staff, faculty, children of faculty, mistresses of faculty, whoever. Everyone has to get themselves to Global Studies once a day, every day at sea, so we can all get educated on each of the countries we are visiting. It’s interesting to a point. I have a lot more on my list of things to see and do now, I know how to identify different European architectural styles, I can label every major city on the Mediterranean in less than two minutes, and I can give you a rundown of Spain’s current political climate without missing a breath. King Juan Carlos himself couldn’t do that better than I can. (Bet you didn’t know Spain still had royalty did you?)</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 48.75pt;">My problem with Global Studies lies in the fact that we are given way too much reading to do. There is too much to cover in too little time: history, economics, art, culture, food, etc. We even have extra seminars on all of these things<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to compensate. The more I think about it, the amount of reading we are assigned each night isn’t actually all that much more than what I was used to at Allegheny; what<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>makes it frustrating is having class every single day instead of every other day, so it’s a real pain reading 120+ pages every night. I might as well start working my way through the encyclopedia instead.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 48.75pt;">Such things like this often lead to reduced amounts of slumber, which is NOT good when you are crossing the Atlantic from West to East, because you literally lose an hour EVERY DAY. Freaking time zones. Who came up with this nonsense? I’ll tell you: someone who clearly never traversed the Atlantic by ship. At least not this way. The other way, going from Europe back to the U.S., is going to be glorious, because we will be gaining all those hours back every night. Alright.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 48.75pt;">My sleepless nights aboard the ship are not due to Global Studies, however. They are the effect of being an English nerd. I’m taking this class called Travel Writing and every day I go there it’s like someone is giving me a small chocolate cake and I’m the only one who is allowed to eat it. Generally, I detest writing nonfiction. Detest it. I’m not a big fan of the real world, so I use my writing to escape it as often as possible. But travel writing is something I could definitely get into. And according to my professor, based on the two assignments we have completed so far, I have a knack for it. Always good to know in case I need a back up career. Or a first up career. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 48.75pt;">And now for the Mecca of all useless classes: History of Italy (and the Mediterranean) during the Renaissance. No. No. Stop thinking about how interesting that would be. Because you are wrong. I deserve some sort of ophthalmological award for how long I manage to keep my eyes open during those lectures. Who do I contact about that? I will concede this, though: the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">information </i>is incredibly interesting. That time period was honestly (**history nerd alert**) one of the most fascinating periods of human history; but it’s the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">way</i> that the professor presents the material that is forcing me to chug Mountain Dews from the snack bar before class. He acts like he’s teaching us about dust or.. .Binary numbers. And he may as well be. In yesterday’s class he spent 45 minutes talking about docks. Medieval docks. Awesome. Where’s my political intrigue? Where are the scandals and the suspicious poisonings and the Medici’s and the Borgias and the new movements and the corruption and all that? Oh, that’s right. It’s bulleted in size 10 font on the last slide of his PowerPoint. Awesome.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 48.75pt;">But really, I can’t complain too much. I’ve just sailed across the entire Atlantic Ocean after all, and not a lot of people can say that. Being constantly surrounded by water is a feeling I can’t quite describe. It’s almost as if you are stuck in time, because what you are seeing never changes. There is a seductive pull to the water, though, the way it laps against the side of the ship and how you look from horizon to horizon and watch it flutter like silk in a breeze. At night, the ocean is glass. This is when I want to jump in and break it. To trade seven years of luck just to feel the watery depths surround me. It would be such a relief, such a jolt of ecstasy to just let the current take you.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 48.75pt;">Though I suppose, the current does take us where it wants to, even here on the ship. You can never go too long without feeling the gentle shove of the ways. People are tilting to one side in the hallways in order to maintain balance when we bob up, then feel that moment of jittery free fall like being released from the Sky Coaster at Kennywood, and then glide back down into the waves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I like the feeling—a giant rocks me to sleep every night. Two days ago I finally got hit with sea sickness. To my credit, the waves were particularly rough. I live on the fourth deck and our window was getting splashed from the height of the waves. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 48.75pt;">That was also the only day the sky wasn’t thrown open in welcome to the sun. No, the sun was uninvited to the Atlantic that day. Instead, ominous gray thunderclouds hung over our heads all day, to remind us that Nature was still in charge here. No tanning or swimming or pool bar that day. The wind would probably swoop you up and carry you off to some spit of land where no one would ever find you.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 48.75pt;">All you really have to do to combat seasickness is lie down. You would think that the rocking of the ship would make seasickness worse, but it actually calms you, for the most part. Not that any of us really have time to sneak in power naps, because when we are not in class we are attending different seminars and club meetings. There is always some sort of activity going on. One night I psychoanalyzed myself by taking the Meyers-Briggs test (I’m INFP), the next I’m running around the ship with some friends trying to piece together clues in order to win the Amazing Race. The next night could be a showing of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Inception</i>, while the following evening finds us all attending a Dining Out in Spain seminar to learn what to eat, where to eat it, and (perhaps most importantly), what not to eat. There is always something to attend on the MV Explorer. Not to mention clubs. Picking and choosing those has been difficult, but I did establish myself as President (aka Gryffindor Prefect) of the Harry Potter club. I might be traveling to some of the greatest cities in the history of the world, but make no mistake, I WILL set time to see Deathly Hallows Part 2 before I leave. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Luckily, we’ve already found English speaking theaters in Croatia and are in the process of reserving tickets. Mischief managed.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 48.75pt;">With all of this going on, and socializing, eating, and occasionally resting, it’s hard to get back to that thinking I was discussing earlier. Because, like this blog, you start with one idea and are then preoccupied with all these other things you have to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So what am I doing? A voyage, or a trip? What is the difference, if there is one? Is it distance? Is it duration? Perhaps it’s danger. I’d say the real difference, when it comes down to it, is in packing. A trip is a one suitcase affair, give or take a purse or a backpack, and a voyage, well, that requires preparation for all possible scenarios. That’s why I had two extra bags to check at the airport compared to my family. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 48.75pt;">So yes, I would say that I am on a voyage, and not a trip. Which leads me to make another distinction, and provide myself with another label: I am a voyager, or a traveler, and not a tourist. I take comfort in this because when I think of tourists I imagine those actors in Disney World commercials: map clutched firmly in one hand, Mickey Mouse water bottle gripped in the other, fanny pack around the waist, binoculars around the neck, Ride All Day bracelet cutting off circulation on the wrist, and of course (though you have to imagine this part) the hidden money wallet to protect funds from “scary foreigners.” I don’t want to be this person. I want to be a traveler, someone whose items they carry tell a different story.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 48.75pt;">It is hard to separate myself from the tourists though. The divide comes in our motivations, I believe. I am not going to Europe, the Middle East, and Africa to take pictures (though I will, promise). I am not journeying to the Mediterranean to see sites (but of course, I will view and enjoy plenty). I am not traversing an entire ocean to bring back meaningless shot glasses and cheap souvenirs (though I will hopefully find valuable keepsakes). I am coming to the breadbasket of civilization to learn and to experience culture. I’m here for the people, and the places are simply supplementary. Wonderful supplements, yes, but supplements nonetheless. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am here to expand my worldview, understand new and old issues on a global scale, and learn more about myself; and how I want to relate to the world, how I see the world, how I label the world, and how I label myself. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 48.75pt;">There is a lot of “I” involved there. This is probably the greatest distinction between a trip and a voyage I can think of.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Trips are wonderful experiences in and of themselves—I can think of no better way to grow closer with my family—and I am not discounting them at all. There are huge aspects of this experience that resemble a trip, but one crucial piece is missing. People I know. Family. Friends from home. Therein lies the difference between my trip and my voyage. And that is ok, I had my trip with the people I care for, but it ended ten days ago when I walked through a door into a long line of individuals all wondering the same thing: “What have I gotten myself into?” And that thought is how I know what label I should use, that is how I know I am not just a tourist. For, trips I make with loved ones; voyages I make alone. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 48.75pt;"><br />
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</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 48.75pt; text-align: center;">“Part of the urge to explore is a desire to become lost”—Tracy Johnston </div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq_WmQCJZmIGGsptbNKqMWnZ83iGqVC0saXFr2uS3yPnKZg0v0RpXsvWzha0PDwkFQyuVpmq1ARJtQK_1IN_u8PQhuGy61hs8LfkN3xeF_F9NW8O5krCSWkY788p-xVvXUmB_tRlQdtfrE/s1600/GEDC0562.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq_WmQCJZmIGGsptbNKqMWnZ83iGqVC0saXFr2uS3yPnKZg0v0RpXsvWzha0PDwkFQyuVpmq1ARJtQK_1IN_u8PQhuGy61hs8LfkN3xeF_F9NW8O5krCSWkY788p-xVvXUmB_tRlQdtfrE/s320/GEDC0562.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"> Yesterday, we refueled right under the Rock of Gibraltar (above) and so we floated for awhile in that tiny strip of water between the south of Spain and the northern part of Morocco, aka I could see one continent on one side and another continent on the other. </div>Craiggorshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14071667685055656973noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904711455920965833.post-82478777454345905752011-06-18T21:08:00.000-07:002011-06-18T21:08:41.745-07:00Bermuda, Bahamas, Some Other Words I Don't Know...<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">So the first chapter of my little jaunt around the world begins at the Atlantis resort on Paradise Island in the Bahamas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not actually a scheduled stop for Semester at Sea but my parents decided we would schedule our family vacation here so they would be able to send me off from Nassau, which is where the M.V. Explorer embarks from. I felt kinda spoiled getting to go on both a vacation AND a two month study abroad experience all in one summer, but I have since decided to consider it the universe’s way of repaying for me all the mega SHIT that went down over the past seven months. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">It’s been quite the nice repayment too, even after a rough start. No more than three or four hours after I posted that first blog were my parents fighting at the airport. I can’t even remember what it was about now, because it was so trivial, but it did involve storming away, the silent treatment, a few choice curse words, and what can only be described as an adult temper tantrum. Like really? Now, I love my parents to death, but they <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">are</i> supposed to be <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">parents. </i>In the early morning hours of June 11, 2011 they were anything but.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Luckily, all that passed by the time we landed in Washington, D.C. for our connecting flight to Nassau. Which I slept through. That whole “I’m staying up all night to pack and write blogs and hallucinate a purple elephant on top of my dresser” energy I had totally vanished by the time I sat down on flight #2. This was fine, because when I woke up I was in the Bahamas. Stuff like that should happen more often. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">My week in Atlantis was a lot of fun. There was just enough to do so that you weren’t bored, but also enough down time to relax. And I got to build up a base tan for Semester at Sea. I tan really well too. Yeah, be jealous about that one. One of the definite highlights was getting to go on the 50-foot water slide in Atlantis’s built-in water park, Aquaventure. The slide was appropriately titled “Leap of Faith.” My sister, Angela, and I had to coerce my mom (whom I affectionately refer to as Miss P because of her incredible fierceness) to take the near vertical drop, and she is usually the adventurous one in the family. Maybe her fear had to do with the height, maybe it had to do with the screams people bellowed as they plummeted down, or <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">maybe</i> it had to do with the fact you plunge into a pool filled with sharks.* I guess that’s something that makes you think twice about jumping. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">There was also an enormous amount of really good food. We had everything from Mexican to Bahamian to good old fashioned American. My favorite dinner, though, was our meal at Carmine’s, the Italian restaurant at Atlantis. They serve family style portions of all the food, and our appetizer dish of zucchini fries literally consisted of more zucchini than I had probably consumed in my life up until that point. Then we had ravioli that rivaled the size of Texas and meatballs as big as my fist. Now, I like balls (haha, Craig made a gay joke about himself) but when you practically need a pitchfork to handle your food things can get a little intense. But it was fun and hilarious, just like all our dinners in the Bahamas. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I love traveling, and I especially love traveling with my family. All of our lives are so hectic we barely ever get to have dinner at home with just the four of us. Someone is either going out or not home or whatever and we all just end up eating alone at random times, which sort of bums me out. Knowing that you have a limited time to live at home really makes me want to spend as much time with my parents and sister as I can, so I always get excited for vacation. We have a great time, laugh constantly, bicker lovingly, and rehash all sorts of old memories and stories that won’t get spoken of again until the next family vacation, so it’s sort of cool. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The weird part about this vacation was knowing that I wouldn’t be on the returning flight. I wasn’t exactly sad per say—I had that moment a few days before I left after some friends from home threw me a surprise going away party—I just felt very off. Like I was unhinged from the vacation in a way. This crazy two month journey I had worked and fought so hard for was looming and I was so nervous and I was running through all these final details in my mind all the time, and to be honest at some moments it really ruined the vacation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the risk of sounding completely bat shit crazy, I will admit that ever since my depression returned I’ve that this Voice in my head. I’m working on a separate post to elaborate on this further, but in a nutshell the Voice is always trying to bring to me down and freak me out at the worst possible moments—like when I’m on vacation. So there were some down moments in Atlantis, but luckily not many.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Well now that I’ve introduced that little teaser and everyone at home is looking up different psychiatric institutions they can commit me too, I’ll end this post on a high note. My vacation in the Bahamas was just what I needed. I got to ease into my world travel with my family by my side, I had adventure, good food, relaxation time, and even something I thought only happened in movies: a little vacation “fling.” I contemplated talking about it in the post, and telling you about the guy, but in the end I decided to keep the moments private. A few people out there already know about him and some of the cool stuff we did, and I’m happy to talk about it a little, but not too much. Cause how often does that happen? The answer, if you are wondering, is “not that often.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">So that was time in the Bahamas. Typical family fun, getting sun burnt, digging your feet into the sand, burying your face into fresh, fluffy pillows every night, and buying six million dollar photos of yourself swimming with a dolphin named Icaro**. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now I’m sitting in my cabin on the MV Explorer talking about how hilarious it is when people fall over in the hallway from the rocking of the ship. It is not, however, funny, when you yourself do this. Especially when you are walking to the very first meeting of the voyage and everyone watches it happen…not that that happened to me….</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">*You don’t actually plunge into a pool filled with sharks. Well, you <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">do</i>, but you’re encased in a glass tube and the sharks just swim around you. Still, the glass wasn’t that thick…</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">**The photos of us with the dolphin did not actually cost six million dollars. That was how much the dolphin paid to get a photo with me</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
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</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><i>“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to leave the shore” –Andre Gide</i></div>Craiggorshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14071667685055656973noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904711455920965833.post-44628956732909462892011-06-10T23:03:00.000-07:002011-06-10T23:03:19.265-07:00Off My Rocker..and Into the Sea<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">In a few short hours, I will be taking the first step in the craziest journey of my life thus far. It seems almost unreal. After enduring <strike>some pretty bad months</strike> the worst months of my life, it didn't look like I would be making it for this trip. But sometimes, the night actually is darkest just before the dawn. </div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The past two days have been insane, to say the least. Thursday night, I was the definition of a hot mess. Next to nothing was packed for a two month trip, I had a To-Do list that seemed never ending, and I kept freaking out about everything that entered my mind. I ended up having a panic attack, which I've been prone to since I slid back into depression. Oh yeah, I'm depressed. Like, actually depressed. Got pills and everything. But that's a blog for another day. A story for a different time in my life, when I'm ready to talk about some things I still need to work on, some demons I still need to confront, and some events I'm still in disbelief even happened. </div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">But what's happening now is something exciting, something new, something scary, and something good. No, something great. I finally get to experience something great. And I'm so kid-who-gets-picked-to-be-the-line-leader-in-first-grade excited that I really want to share this experience with people back home. So, per the requests of many individuals, and because of my own interest, I will do my best to keep a running blog of where I go, what I see, who I meet, and why you should care. Oh, and what I eat. I feel like that will be entertaining to discuss, since I'll try anything once.</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Tonight, my insomnia is good insomnia. There's no dread of going to sleep, there's just lots of anticipation. Some of it is nerves and anxiety, a problem I can't quite control yet, but most of it is general excitement. It's a nice change from how I was feeling twenty-four hours ago; when I was so stressed out I was unable to breathe properly, I could practically see my heart straining against my chest, and I had to lay flat on my back in the middle of deck at 1:00 in the morning just to get my head to stop spinning. No, tonight, I feel great. Sure, I said goodbye to a lot of close friends today, and that sucked in the moment. And it will suck again soon. But I also got all (ok, most) of my packing done, I kicked that To-Do List's ass, had a healthy breakthrough on one of the issues I'm dealing with, and I even mustered up enough courage to ask a question I was afraid to ask, and tie up a loose end I was dreading taking on this trip with me. And it totally turned out ok! </div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">All in all, tonight is a good night, and hopefully is a sign of good things to come. And hopefully I'll be able to regularly communicate those good things! I'm totally open to any suggestions on things to blog about and what to include and once I start talking about things that are actually interesting I'd love comments and feedback (doesn't that sound like I'm only saying it because I feel obligated? I don't. Ok, I do. But it's still true). </div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Alright, now I'm going to load up my carry-on and sort out these butterflies in my stomach. It's like that feeling you get when take a deep breathe right before you make the conscious decision to do something you've always dreamed of doing and finally get the chance. Or when you're waiting in line at Target and a cashier opens up a new check-out lane. One or the other. Haven't decided which yet.</div><br />
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<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>"I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think. Was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is, 'Who in the world am I?' Ah, that's the great puzzle!" --Alice</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW6OVM0_CTf2qk-waVOAe6fDzH7X0xFP5CG0sA4I5SOIii5nCel5BcIoQcYZWUS4NNca_KjAmhcB6Dj__ggF1kuBCN-YHno6ZmivWcRdT-AAoSmZUa7pWIg8ru0PNEezw6oDlKNq7RhPRs/s1600/blog+pic+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW6OVM0_CTf2qk-waVOAe6fDzH7X0xFP5CG0sA4I5SOIii5nCel5BcIoQcYZWUS4NNca_KjAmhcB6Dj__ggF1kuBCN-YHno6ZmivWcRdT-AAoSmZUa7pWIg8ru0PNEezw6oDlKNq7RhPRs/s320/blog+pic+1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Craiggorshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14071667685055656973noreply@blogger.com3